Getting Ready For My Night At The Joe

I am mere hours from stepping into one of the more storied hockey venues in the world as I will be in attendance to see the Blackhawks visit the Red Wings this evening. As far as hockey arenas go, this is one of the ones I'm really most excited for given its relative age, tenant and history. The Red Wings have been among the most well-run franchises in professional sports for the last 20 years and tonight I will get to see, firsthand, one of the more unique arenas in the League.

Also the game is kind of really important.

This will be a fun and appropriate capper to what has been an enjoyable few days in Michigan. This state is actually the only one of the upper Midwest that I had never spent much time in, so not only was I happy to get a taste of Ann Arbor and various staple eateries such as the Maize and Blue Deli or The Cottage Inn, but I've also gotten the opportunity to try what has to be the greatest named beer I've ever heard of in my life, which was of course, a local brew from the city of Detroit known as.... Ghetto Blaster.

Yes, Ghetto Blaster.

I won't even claim to be above the fray on this one. We absolutely bought a pitcher of this beer simply because the name was hilarious and the word "blaster" made me immediately assume this was the type of beer that would be produced by some combination of events on The Wire and at Mos Eisley Spaceport. Whether or not they serve it at the cantina, I can't say, but if Han drank it he would almost certainly be shooting first. The beer itself isn't half bad, though I wouldn't consider it great.

Really the name sells the beverage.


Other exciting events of the week have included watching Michigan go to the Frozen Four National Championship Game in a massive group of Wolverines, which is an uncomfortable position when you don't really like Michigan, last night when I went to a bizarre karaoke fundraiser at a gay bar called Aut Bar, which had a somewhat overwhelming assortment of Robert Mapplethorpe photographs on the walls.

Also, I was only hit on by one man, which, even as a heterosexual, was kind of disappointing. I'm just going to assume they could tell I wouldn't be interested.

Of course, the biggest event so far was my visit to the Palace of Auburn Hills to see the Pistons beat the Nets in an entertainingly high scoring, and defensively nonexistent affair. The Palace is an interesting arena because it's more than 20 years old and yet as the forebear of the modern wave of luxury-suite laden basketball and hockey arenas, it actually holds up very well. It hardly seems as old as it is even though some of the murals are a bit out of date, such as the one depicting the three-time WNBA champion Detroit Shock, who have since moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Also, the ubiquity of dumbest basketball GM alive Isiah Thomas is less than inspiring if you're a Knicks fan, but otherwise the building has aged better than George Clooney in a number of senses. If I had been told it was four years old, I would have believed it.

Of course, 48 hours later, the far more meaningful event of the week, given the fact that both teams are still alive and have won Stanley Cups in the last three years, is happening tonight, and I am pumped. I have no idea what traffic heading into Detroit will be like, but I'm optimistic that I'll have plenty of time to see how the place looks and hopefully scope out that statue of Gordie Howe they've got. And there's also the outside chance that I'll get to see Chicago clinch a playoff spot depending on what happens between Dallas and Colorado, an event that, remarkably, in all my years of attending sporting events would be a first.

Of course, for that to happen, quite a few chips would have to fall into place. Beggers can't be choosers. I'm just happy to be there.

And if they serve Ghetto Blaster on tap, I may just be even happier.

Live From Detroit: Teams No. 40 and No. 41

It's that time of year, people. The time I start to forsake my friends, loved ones and job for the ultimately foolish experience of carefully timed trips to see sports venues.

Yes, I know that I did already make trips to see the Philadelphia 76ers and Washington Capitals earlier this year, but this right here is my first two-fer and the first time I've actually needed to board a plane to get anywhere. Of course that plane ride started off somewhat bumpy when I found out that Spirit Airlines is actually not the deal they claim to be because they actually charge you $30 to bring a carry-on bag onto the plane. Isn't avoiding bag fees the whole reason we pack light and make carry-ons to begin with?

In any event, the trip since then has been entirely smooth as my good ol' buddy Lindsay was at DTW in no time to pick me up AND THEN WE HAD CULVERS.

So yeah. So far it's been good. The reason for all this commotion of course is that over the next three days I will be knocking two vaunted names off the list of 122 that I have not yet seen before in the Detroit Pistons and the Detroit Red Wings. I actually did see the Detroit Tigers four years ago when I was a senior in college, but even including that day trip from Chicago, I've spent almost no time in Michigan in my life so this will be something of a new experience, and considering that I had completely forgotten about Culver's being in Michigan, this is already worth the trip.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I was particularly excited for Friday night's game for multiple reasons, namely a) Joe Louis Arena, the Joe, looks to be something like the Fenway Park of hockey, b) my seats are going to be awesome, c) they're playing the Blackhawks, who I always enjoy seeing, d) the Blackhawks may well be playing for their playoff lives that night.

It should be fun all around.

Of course, the basketball game comes before that, which should also be fun because the Pistons, in terms of historical significance, I find to be one of the more underrated franchises in North American sports. Their history includes names like Joe Dumars, Isiah "I'm an awful GM, but really a pretty good basketball player" Thomas, Dick Vitale and the recently Hall of Fame-inducted Dennis Rodman. You know, back before the transformation.

Of course, as the 11th-ranked team in the East that history isn't having much of an effect on the Pistons right now, nor is it on the 12th-ranked Nets whom they'll be playing tonight. But if anything, it'll probably be better basketball than we saw Monday night when the Butler Bulldogs went colder than Michigan in January in the second half of the NCAA National Championship Game. During one stretch, Butler went a stunning 1 for 22 from the field in the second half.

So yeah. That may have been the worst National Championship Game I've ever seen. Hell the women's game the next night was better. Really.

And those teams had something to play for, unlike the squads I'm seeing tonight, who will mostly be jockeying for possible Draft lottery positioning. Then again, that's something the Nets are probably used to at this point, unlike their Prudential Center co-tenants, my New Jersey Devils. The Devils played Pittsburgh last night to an eventual 4-2 loss in an utterly meaningless game as far as New Jersey was concerned. This is tough to see as a Devils fan, but considering the last time the Devils played a regular season game with nothing on the line and no playoffs to look forward to was on April 2, 1989, I suppose I can live with it. Bizarrely, those Devils were disappointed to miss the playoffs after getting one win away from the Stanley Cup Final the season before. Also, hey, the Mets are somehow in first place, so how bad could life really be?

Of course, those teams would have plenty to play for in the coming seasons. Who's to say what will happen for the Pistons and Nets after tonight? As for what happens tonight itself, well, probably some mediocre basketball.

But I will be there to find out. And that's the important thing.

Who Wants To Buy Part Of A Minor League Baseball Team?

Yeah, that's right. I don't know if any of you heard, part of the delightful fallout from that whole "Madoff thing" is that there's a baseball club that's looking for some minority investors. Some of you may never have actually heard of this "baseball team" because their performance over the past few years has called into question whether or not they are a "real" baseball team, but sure enough they've been playing 162 games a year -- no more than 162, let's be clear -- right here in the Big Apple.

Come on. You've heard of them.

Yes, that's right people. Mets chairman Fred Wilpon and his son Jeff announced this week both with a released statement, a press conference, and a personal e-mail to their fans which made me feel oh so special, that they have decided to explore finding new investors interested in a minority stake in the New York Mets. A real live baseball team!

Now, if you've been following the 'Ropolitans like I have for more than a decade, this announcement seems like a particularly odd one for the Wilpons to make for a few reasons. For one, they've done an extremely large amount of work over recent years to consolidate and improve the financial potency of the franchise. The introduction of SNY in 2006 has gone quite a distance to bring more money into the team's coffers and give them a financial base, ideally, more in line with those crosstown rivals in the Bronx. In addition to that, the recent construction of the Wilpon moneyfactory, also known as Citi Field, was further intended to strengthen the team's position. Lastly, and perhaps most notably, Fred Wilpon has tried awfully hard to make sure this team would belong to him and only him.

Obviously, given the track record of one Fred Wilpon, it seems patently bizarre that he would want to unload a chunk of his baby just as he's finally prepared the setup to make the team flourish financially even if it doesn't do the same on the field. So what gives?

Oh right. That.

It seems someone has decided that considering lots of people have lost money due to the pyramid scheme of Bernie Madoff, and because the Wilpons, who had hundreds of millions of dollars tied up in those investments, um, didn't, they must be the perfect people to sue to get that money back. What with Bernie being in jail and all -- without his Mets jacket -- it makes sense. I won't claim to understand how all the legal liabilities work in this thing since I'm, you know, not a lawyer, and I'm sure there's a legitimate reason why the Wilpons might possibly be somehow liable in this whole horror story, but it all seems kind of silly to me. Regardless however, absolutely none of that matters. The only thing of note is this:

There's a part of the Mets for sale!

Why is this so exciting? Well, some people might claim it is, in fact, not exciting at all, and while Rob Parker may have a point here, he's also an unnecessary provocateur and an asshole, so I'm going to ignore him for the moment. No, for me this is more exciting because I've just realized this is as good a prospect as any to pull some money together and own a baseball team. Indeed, that prospect was the very first idea I had when I first saw the story.

Shockingly none of my other potential investors seem interested in joining in despite my assurances that the Mets could not possibly be worth more than $10,000 or so given their on-field performance the last few years, but the bigger obstacle than this might be competition. And apparently that competition is coming. My guess is these other potential owners are going to jack the price out of my personal range, but let me state this right here for all who are interested.

I AM WILLING TO LISTEN TO ANYONE WHO IS INTERESTED IN FORMING A BID TO BUY A MINORITY STAKE IN THE NEW YORK METS.

Is that clear? I want to buy the Mets, I want to pool money to get the job done and I will actively seek partners. Not only will owning a piece of a Major League Baseball team be a great source of pride, but we'll get to see any Mets game we want for free (probably) and it'll totally help us get chicks. Or men if that's your fancy. Plus, I'm totally a really serious big time Mets fan. Just look at that picture of what I wore to my brother's wedding this summer to the right. I'm totally right for it. If I somehow won't be the right person for the job, the list of potential minority owners is certainly interesting.

My personal preference is for the minority bid to go to a group that is headed by Martin Luther King III, which also involves former Met Ed Kranepool and the son of Mets great Donn Clendenon. Failing that, however, the likely bid being brought forward by Martin Silver, the owner of Georgi Vodka, will at least make those long painful days at the park go faster.

In fact, the more I think about it, the more appropriate it seems to align the classy Mets organization with the class of a brand of vodka that is sold in plastic bottles.

If I'm unable to get my hands on any piece of the Mets, I will simply have to settle for watching the Wilpons' iron grip on the franchise slowly recede, which, given the team's prospects since they gained full control of the franchise, probably isn't the worst thing as I've noted before. Now to be fair, I suspect that regardless of ownership, the administration of Sandy Alderson will bring a much more professional auspice to the franchise and that success will follow, much as it did with Frank Cashen in the early 1980s, but giving the Wilpons less power couldn't hurt. And in the end, the prospect of the team forcibly getting better ownership is really enough for me.

Considering that this weekend already saw Southampton blow a second-half lead in the FA Cup against Manchester United and that Northwestern blew a tantalizingly close chance at knocking off No. 1 Ohio State, well, the promise that the Mets are on the way to better times would help salve those wounds. The fact that I also booked a flight to beautiful Detroit for a Pistons and Red Wings game this April also perks me up a little bit (more on that in a few weeks), but when I realize that the Pro Bowl is tonight, well, that just makes matters worse.

This is why, for the good of the Mets, and maybe my sanity, this chunk of the Mets being for sale is coming just at the right time. If it can't be me, maybe it can be someone else who actually knows how to run a baseball team.

But remember, I'm not giving up on my bid for a piece of the pie. Someone out there will want to take a bite, too. Who's with me?

First Person To Pinch Me Gets Punched In The Face

Yes, some of you might have noticed something peculiar as you sat down on the porch with a mug of coffee and your freshly delivered copy of the New York Times this morning that by some peculiar miracle the New York Mets are in first place in the National League East.

Yeah, the Mets that all the doomsayers had losing 90 games. Those Mets. They're somehow atop the NL East this morning after a six-game winning streak, and today may be the only time they're in that place this season, so for the love of God don't shit on my parade.

I'm not sure how long, exactly this can be expected to last, given that the Mets had to win six games in a row to get here, my best guess is "not very", but it does bear reminding that the Mets haven't even played all that well during this streak, which was capped off by New York's first doubleheader sweep of the Dodgers in 39 years yesterday. In fact, last night's 10-5 whupping of L.A. was the first time the bats really broken out during the Mets' current hot streak, with most of the victories built on what has been a surprisingly solid pitching staff so far.

Stunningly, before the Dodgers scored in the fourth inning of the night cap, Mets pitching had racked up 20 consecutive scoreless innings. Sure, some of you might deride that by saying the Mets nearly pulled that off once this year inside of a single game, but the fact that Johan Santana still looks to be winning ball games despite a drop in velocity and Mike Pelfrey may have finally got it bears some notice. John Maine has been shaky and each Oliver Perez outing still feels like a tightrope walk two millimeters wide, but the bullpen, which has an ERA of 2.61 right now, has somehow managed to pull it out each time, to the tune of eight wins in New York's last nine games.

And in typical fashion, the one game the Mets lost in this stretch is the one game I attended.

Regardless, the lineup may finally be coming together. Jason Bay started driving the ball with a home run and a triple last night, David Wright drove in four runs on the day (and didn't strike out for the first time 13 outings in the second game) and Ike Davis continues to wow with three RBIs yesterday to complement his .980 OPS since being called up to the Majors 10 games ago.

Yes, I know, it is early. It's only April. And there is plenty of time for the Mets to collapse brutally once again or fade from the race before it even becomes a race. But for now, the Mets are winning games, and this team is a lot of fun to watch. The only thing that might make them more fun would be a music video to rival the glory of 1986.



Somehow I think the message of Doc Gooden giving something to a group of school children doesn't really resonate the same way today.

In any event, it'd be awfully nice if the Mets could keep winning into the summer because with the impending end of hockey season just six weeks away I may be lacking for distractions. The first round is set to end tonight with a Game 7 between the surprisingly feisty Canadiens and the somewhat less surprisingly lazy Capitals. Of course, the Capitals, being supremely talented and having won the Presidents' Trophy in a walk this year I still expect them to win, but the magic of a Game 7 is that we never really know.

What I'm far more intrigued by, however, is the second-round Western Conference match up between San Jose and Detroit, which won its own Game 7 last night, that gets underway this weekend. These two teams have a bit of a playoff history dating back to the Sharks' stunning first-round upset of the top-seeded Wings in 1994, and the experienced team that is Detroit, coming off two straight Finals appearances is a tall order for a Sharks team that has a habit of disappointing in the playoffs lately.

But what really makes this series interesting is what was pointed out on the outstanding Yahoo! Sports hockey blog Puck Daddy. This series will essentially be ideal fodder for us to make fun of the absolutely ridiculous Lorenzo Lamas and Debbie Gibson smash non-hit of 2009 Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. The San Jose reference is obvious (They're the Sharks. Duh.), but the allusion to the Red Wings might seem abstract if you aren't familiar with the long-honored tradition of throwing octopi on the ice in Detroit.

The movie may not be an exact parallel for this series, but it does feature a major sequence in the Northern California Bay Area. Also, the trailer is, you know, hilarious.



I'll have some picks on what's going to go down in the second round ready for you tomorrow, though since I did so well in the first round, you may or may not want to believe me, but I'll be ready. Sort of.

In the meantime, settle in and enjoy tonight's Game 7, keep enjoying the Mets and don't send any incriminating facebook messages.