Oh This Won't Be Depressing At All

Yes, fair readers, I know it's been a while since I've posted here and that surely you're all very upset at me for it. I apologize. It's been a busy week you see. A number of important and wild, crazy things have happened, such as the Knicks losing not one, but two soul-crushing playoff games in their first postseason appearance in seven years, some wild comebacks in the opening round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and the NFL's 2011 schedule release, an event that has left me wondering if my two designated road games this season will actually be feasible given that they're in back-to-back weeks.

But friends, I come here to talk about none of those right now. Because those are good things. Fun things. And what I have to tell you is not fun at all.

I'm going to my first Mets game of the season tonight. It won't be pretty.

See, I've had several seasons when the Mets fell into mediocrity -- and did so early -- but it's rare that I've been living in the New York metropolitan area and seen them fall so quickly that I haven't even gotten out to a game yet. And fallen they have. After losing two straight to the Astros, the Amazins and their sparkling 5-13 record are at the very bottom of the Major Leagues, meaning that unlike last year's team, which simply plodded its way through injuries to a mediocre 79-83 record, this year's squad, with mostly the same roster, is downright awful.

The team is so bad that New York Daily News beatwriter Andy Martino actually got away with two of the more scathing -- and at the same time brilliant -- game stories I've ever seen, capturing not just the Mets awfulness, but the ambivalence of the fans that are currently watching. I'm generally disinclined against Martino since he grew up a Braves fan, but he does a masterful job of tiptoeing the line between truth and bitter sarcasm that apparently has eluded other writers in recent days.

And he hits the nail right on the head. This team is bad. Really. They're not good. We know it. They know it. And yet here I am ready to pull up stakes around 6:00 pm tonight and ride the 7 train to Citi Field for what is sure to be the first of several times this year. The positive to all of this is that when you know the team is bad you can at least laugh at it to make the pain dull itself. Also those $6.50 bags of fresh Kettle Corn they have at Citi Field are a tremendous deal.
Seriously. They're enormous.

So yeah, I've got that going for me tonight as I start my weekend, but on the plus side the Stanley Cup playoffs have been so good that I'm almost able to forget about how bad the Mets have been. I'm not sure how many of you have been watching, or keeping up with the very exciting awards announcements, European hockey news or top playoff performers, but it's all been pretty sweet -- in particularly Tuesday night's utterly wild Game 3 between San Jose and L.A. that saw the Sharks rally from a four-goal deficit to win in overtime.



And last night's double-OT games between Washington and New York and Pittsburgh and Tampa Bay weren't bad either. All in all the hockey playoffs are shaping up to be pretty tremendous so far, which is good because they might be the only distraction I have to keep me from watching baseball other than planning out my potential European vacation this summer or my two Giants road games I have planned.

If you're curious I'm looking to hit up New England on Nov. 6 and San Francisco a week later.

So hockey is what I will rely on for now, and the great thing about that is that they last for six more weeks. The only downside?

Baseball season lasts six more months.

As the Kovalchuk Turns

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that most of you are not paying very much attention to the NHL Free Agent Frenzy. This, of course, is perfectly understandable. After all, it's not like a number of name NHL stars have already made news and signed new deals unlike some other more closely followed free agent markets or anything.

Nope. NHL free agency is totally boring.

However, just when you thought it might get totally dull and static because nothing was going on, Ilya Kovalchuk's wild indecisiveness has saved us all and made this suddenly awfully interesting, and not because he happens to be the most dynamic offensive player to hit the unrestricted free agent market, well, maybe ever. Nor is it because Kovalchuk was the most sought after gem of the 2010 NHL Trade Deadline or because he's scored more goals than anyone else in the League in the last nine seasons.

No, this is simply because today has been one of the more bizarre days as far as sheer number of teams and possibilities that can't make up their mind as to whether they even want to be in the Kovalchuk sweepstakes. Over the course of today, Kovalchuk has been linked to eight different teams across two hemispheres, with some more plausible than others. After a while, what became most clear, at least to me, was that no one really knew anything.

Especially Kovalchuk.

It's rare that one player can be destined to sign with so many different teams over the course of 12 hours, but apparently it takes a dynamic player who can weave through defensemen seamlessly to have the ability to weave through three different countries in one afternoon. The hubbub all started when Kovalchuk's agent, Jay Grossman, promised that a decision was forthcoming not just sometime soon but today. Cue the hockey-writing twittersphere which gets all agog over his potential movement and almost immediately decides that Kovy is going to re-sign with the New Jersey Devils for an almost shocking discount compared to what he turned down mid-season from Atlanta.

Happy David, right? All well and good?

Not so fast.

Then comes a deluge of rumors that the deal may not yet be set in stone, though New Jersey is still the frontrunner, according to the New York Post. Of course, to anyone who has been paying attention on a minute-by-minute basis -- read: losers like David Kalan -- you will notice the subtle difference made by the Post in their headline from when the story first went out.

Hold the phone kids. What's going on? Well, suddenly rumors start flying that Kovalchuk is still being tossed around every which way. The Kings are still said to be in the race for obvious reasons (talent, cap space, big market) even though they have already announced that they are no longer negotiating. Next come the Islanders who are also said to be in the mix, something that, frankly, hasn't been news for a few days now. Soon the Rangers, Maple Leafs and even Kovalchuk's old home Atlanta is said to be jumping in with last minute offers.

Then, out of nowhere, word comes that Kovalchuk is suddenly mulling a return to his native Russia with SKA St. Petersburg. Not only do all of these rumors confuse the hell out of everyone, they also give free license to smartasses all over the internet to irritate the rest of us. Of course, others simply amuse us.

At long last, Grossman comes back out of the ether to indicate that after all of the hockey world went abuzz, Kovalchuk, in fact, won't be making a decision today, which basically means it's time for all of us to take a deep breath and relax because Kovalchuk clearly doesn't know where he wants to go. While we do know he has, supposedly, narrowed it down to two NHL teams, the end destination for the Russian sniper is anyone's guess. While most accept that one of those teams is the Devils, the other one is a subject of some debate amongst sportswriters and nonsensical soothsayers.

My guess? Kovalchuk and the Devils have a deal in principle, but New Jersey, short on cap space, is working hard to move a contract to make room for Kovy longterm. This would seem the most likely scenario, and many are wondering just what Devil will be the odd man out when all is said and done.

Of course, if Kovy hops to Russia or picks another team entirely, all of that hypothesizing becomes moot quickly. Like most hockey fans, I will be watching this closely, if for no other reason than because acquiring Kovalchuk turns the Devils from a contender to make a playoff run into an early favorite to reach the Finals in 2011. However, more than anything, I'd just like to know where he's going before every team in the League gets linked to him. Frankly, that doesn't seem far off.

Somewhere, I get the feeling, Ilya Kovalchuk and Lebron James are watching all of us scurry around like chickens with our heads cut off with beers in their hands.

Well, Ilya probably has vodka.