Get Your Overpriced Ephemeral Merchandise Here!

Some of you probably noticed that there was a huge television extravaganza on recently with some royalty involved. Yes, the first round of the NFL Draft was last night, and boy howdy was it a party. I know, I know, you probably thought I was talking about some other royal TV... thing, but come on, we fought pretty damn hard to free ourselves from the yoke of these imperial oppressors, no matter how fabulous their sense of humor might be.

The brilliant, and not at all crazy, Jack Edwards knows exactly what I'm talking about.

So no, the royal wedding in the wee hours of this morning was not the exciting TV event I was talking about, although I really did enjoy when NBC's camera lingered over Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard and Matt Lauer and Meredith Viera clearly had no idea who she was. Come on, people? Even Dust and Sand knows who she is. Frankly, I think it's awfully nice of her to even bother making the trip to the wedding considering all of Australia was probably emotionally spent from Geelong's stunning win over Hawthorn earlier this week. Of course, the Cats have done that before.

But I digress. The draft. The Giants had the 19th pick in the NFL's annual selection gala, and chose to use it on Prince Amukamara, so named because he was the first son of a Nigerian chief, and if you don't think this qualifies him as royalty, you should check out the names of his sisters. Interestingly, he's not the first Giant draftee to be a sort of African royalty, although he grew up in Arizona, but what struck me most about the evening, aside from the fact that many Giants fans weren't sure we needed another defensive back (Ed: You can never have enough defensive backs), was that within moments I got an e-mail from the Giants offering me the exclusive opportunity to purchase what might just be the most useless piece of merchandise I've ever seen from a sports team.

You see, at least draft hats and the like can still be worn easily. The Giants are probably never changing their logo. But this was advertised to me as a "Prince Amukamara draft jersey". I understand this is a business and that sports teams need to make money where they can, but this just seems over the top. To buy this jersey would be a painfully silly purchase. And there are more than a few reasons why.

For one, and perhaps most importantly, we know nothing about how Prince Amukamara will be as an NFL cornerback. He may be the next Champ Bailey, but he may also be the next Rashard Anderson. We don't know. Personally, I don't really understand shelling out $85 for a player who may wallow in obscurity.

For two, Prince Amukamara may not even make the team. Sure that's unlikely, but it's certainly possible, and if that's the case, well, personally, I don't really understand shelling out $85 for a player who may never actually be a Giant.

For three, the number on the jersey is "No. 1". If Amukamara makes the team he will almost certainly not wear No. 1. Some of you may thing this is a place holder and that those who purchase this jersey will get a jersey with his actual number, but no. The description actually says, "made to look like the exact jersey given to Amukamara on draft day", which means it will be No. 1. And, uh, personally I don't really understand shelling out $85 for a player who may not actually wear the number on the jersey I'm purchasing.

For four, it's a replica. It's not even nice! It's just a thin piece of mesh with the No. 1 and Amukamara silk-screened on it. Personally, I don't really understand shelling out $85 for a player whose jersey may have the numbers rubbed off after five times through the wash.

So yeah, basically what I'm telling you all is that the NFL is asking me to pay $85 for a piece of merchandise that has the shelf life of, oh, two weeks. Who, exactly, is buying this jersey? Well, not me, but as we know, in service to the almighty dollar, the NFL has had a tendency to do what it can to get as many premature dollars as possible.

Far be it from me to stand in the way.

Of course, once the Giants picked I mostly tuned out from the draft, which is fine since some Giants were preoccupied anyway, and for most of the first two hours I was flipping between it and the Mets, who, tragically, saw their Major League-high six-game winning streak come to an end in Washington. It is worth noting after that winning streak that the Mets are still under .500. Once I tuned out I moved on to the NHL playoffs, which, duh, you should all be watching. All sorts of fun stuff could happen, and many prognosticators are putting their opinion in.

As are the brilliant scribes reporting on it. And that doesn't even include the awards nominations which, surely, you've all paid attention to.

If you haven't, there's a chance for you to jump on the bandwagon tonight when the Capitals and Lightning open up a doubleheader that will later feature the Red Wings and Sharks. And if you don't tonight, I won't blame you.

You're probably too angry at yourself for spending $85 on that short-lived Amukamara draft jersey.

An Annual Day Of Mourning

Since I started writing this blog about three months ago, today is the first time we've hit one of those yearly milestones where I find that a team I had such high hopes for will not be bringing home the ultimate prize this year. In the case of this year, the offending party is the New Jersey Devils, and for the fourth straight year, they will be setting up their spring tee times much earlier than I had anticipated.

Pardon me while I tear my clothing and cover all my mirrors.

Ok. Unless you're a Devils fan, this probably doesn't have the same impact for you, but considering New Jersey was challenging for the top seed in the East for a large portion of the season and then added one of the top offensive threats in the game in Ilya Kovalchuk, well, this is kind of surprising. But watching this team last night made a few things abundantly clear. For one, the offense was completely nonexistent and most of the players didn't seem to really care, with the exceptions of Dainius Zubrus and Zach Parise. The Flyers, despite being the No. 7 seed and needing a shootout on the final day to make the postseason, had taken five of six from the Devils during the year. They were confident, New Jersey wasn't, and it showed. For another, the Kovalchuk deal was a gutsy move, and for that GM Lou Lamoreillo deserves credit, but Kovy clearly didn't fit into this system and he had a nasty habit of trying to play Superman every time he touched the puck.

What makes this most irksome is that more questions will start to come up around Martin Brodeur not being a big-game goaltender anymore, which, if you watched, is complete hooey. Brodeur played phenomenally in Games 3 and 4, but was behind an offense that wracked up all of four even strength goals in the series. No goaltender can manage to win when his team is making Brian Boucher look like a Hall of Famer.

Lord, I hate Philadelphia.

As a result, I am far too emotionally distraught to put together my weekly 1995 Mail Bag post -- I know you're heartbroken -- but I will make it a point to put one up next week. It is worth noting that I still, technically, have a horse left in this race in the Chicago Blackhawks, who very well might wind up winning the Stanley Cup considering they have the talent to do so. While the Hawks were on edge this week, their win in Game 4 in Nashville last night has everything square with Game 5 at home. As I've noted before, I have a soft spot for the Hawks after my employment there in college.

But let's be honest. The Devils are my team. Always have been. Always will be. It's irrational to think your team will win a Championship every season, but it doesn't make it less distressing when you have high hopes. I suppose there's always next year.

The unfortunate thing about this is that the Devils' elimination marred what had been a fairly good night for me on the sports front. The Mets won their first series of the year -- a four-gamer at that -- by taking out the Cubs for the third time in four days, the Hawks regained momentum in their series and the NFL Draft provided endless entertainment for all four hours of its first round.

I was miffed to see both Rolando McClain and C.J. Spiller gone by the time the Giants rolled around at 15, but Jason Pierre-Paul is apparently expected to be a very solid defensive end, and I'm of firm belief that youu can never have enough of those, so I'm satisfied.

Other thoughts:
-- I can't tell if Josh McDaniels is very clever or trying way too hard to meddle with his multiple first-round deals that eventually netted him Tim Tebow. No one's arguing the intangibles Tebow brings to the table, but scouts unanimously had doubts on him before he changed his throwing motion for a reason. Also, it could make it awkward that everyone on the Broncos will need to be baptized before joining the team now.

-- The Rams made a large mistake in drafting for need over drafting for the best player on the board. I know everyone says Sam Bradford has the necessary skills to be an NFL quarterback, but he is coming off an injury, and I won't believe a Bob Stoops Oklahoma quarterback is an NFL prospect until I see it proven to me (Josh Heupel and Jason White, anyone?). Moreover, stud quarterback prospects come along every year. Game-changing defensive tackles don't, and you need to grab one when the opportunity presents itself, which leads me to...

-- I'd say the team that had the best first round, by far, was the Detroit Lions. Ndamukong Suh will give that defensive line an incredible presence when he has a year or two under his belt, and Jahvid Best adds a new dimension to an offense that already has a top flight receiver in Calvin Johnson and a good-looking quarterback prospect in Matt Stafford. Get this team an offensive line and it will be a force right when the Vikings and Packers start to see their windows close in the NFC North.

-- It won't be long until the 49ers once again rule the NFC West. Alex Smith may not be the most dynamic quarterback to have back there, but he did play well down the stretch. Take into account that the Niners have Michael Crabtree, Vernon Davis and Frank Gore on the offense and add the two elite-level offensive line prospects they selected in the first round (Anthony Davis of Rutgers and Mike Iupati of Idaho) and they have the right pieces in place.

-- Minnesota would be smart to take Jimmy Clausen in the second round. That he has fallen out of the first is a gift to a franchise that is pinning its championship hopes on a man who may or may not play next year and may or may not decide if he is until August. If the Vikings don't grab him, I'd be stunned if Buffalo didn't early tonight.

-- Lastly, how have Mike Kafka and Corey Wootton not been scooped up yet? Seriously?

Ok, I'm done. Enjoy your weekends. It's time for me to forget about hockey for a few hours.

With The No. 1 Overall Pick, The St. Louis Rams Select...

If the NFL schedule release is the start of when we really get to be bombarded with NFL news in the run up to summer camps and eventually the season, what takes place tonight might be the biggest event before the Saints and Vikings kick off on September 9th. Until the last few years, the release of the schedule was actually not the big television event the NFL has turned it into. Instead that major offseason moment came with the NFL's annual Entry Draft. It seems odd to me that the NFL would put two major events in such close proximity when the season is a good five months away, here we are. The NFL Draft is an annual feed for the football news addicts that can't get through the offseason without massive withdrawal.

Lucky us. Tonight we get our fix.

Yes, the NFL Draft starts tonight, which seems odd to say given that this is the first time ever that it has started both on a week night and in prime time. This has always been a Saturday day-long weekend affair, but now that the NFL has realized what ESPN knew for the past two decades -- the NFL Draft is a valuable television property that you can use to maximize ratings and thus rights fees by stretching it out -- we get treated to a first round Thursday night, the second and third rounds Friday night and the rest of the selection process stretching out all day Saturday.

It's a bizarre format, and frankly I always enjoyed spending a day plopped on the couch watching the selections. It was kind of like how Sundays in the fall are, but just with hundreds of players I didn't know very well, the bombast of Chris Berman, the way-too-enthusiastic intensity of Todd McShay and, obviously, Mel Kiper Jr.'s hair. The hair may have been the best part. Still, because I love football and because I'm a sheep, I will still be watching with all eyes keyed in on whom the New York Giants will be selecting with the 15th overall pick.

Of course, that moment in particular won't be happening until roughly two and a half hours in, but I will still be watching the prior picks to see what potential reaches are gone, what potential steals might still be on the board for Big Blue and what awkward moments we might get to see. Rumor has it Clemson running back C.J. Spiller might fall to the Giants at No. 15, which, potentially, would be a huge steal. At least in m mind. Most guesses though have the G-Men targeting Rolando McClain of Alabama to fill the void at middle linebacker. This would be fine too. The peculiar thing about it, though is that getting quite so wrapped up in everything and grading each pick immediately is, you know, pointless. Sure drafts can have major immediate impacts -- the 2007 Super Bowl Champion Giants got significant contributions from all seven of their draft picks that year, though that is rare -- but overall, the one thing most necessary to remember about drafts is this:

We have no idea what is going to happen with any of these players.
Really. We haven't a clue. And yet we watch anyway with some bizarre notion that our team's immediate fortunes will be changed by every pick they make, when, in fact, most players selected won't be impacting their teams for at least a season or two. Immediate impacts are rare by rookies in the NFL. Of course, it doesn't make it any less fun to think about.

As for me, I'll be watching tomorrow while I juggle that and, potentially, the end of the Devils' season as they fight to stay alive in Game 5 against Philadelphia. New Jersey does have two things going for it. For one, the Devils are home tonight. Not having to play in Philly is always helpful. For another, and far more importantly, the Flyers got word today that Jeff Carter, who had a three-point game in Game 4, and Simon Gagne, another dangerous offensive weapon, are going to be out at least for the rest of the series. This turns everythign completely upside down.

I believe in comebacks.



And speaking of believing in comebacks, I attended my first Mets game of the year tonight, and believing in comebacks didn't exactly bring it to pass in a rough 9-3 loss to the Cubs. Of course, the Amazins pulled within three in the eighth to make us feel as though we might actually have a chance, but ever the teases, that all went to hell when the Cubs score three in the top of the ninth to put it away.

Of course, it didn't help that it was colder than expected and the crowd was nearly gone by the final out, but seeing as this was my first visit to the park this year, it was still exciting to see both the new placement of the old Apple -- it now sits in a flower bed outside the stadium -- and the brand-spankin'-new Mets Hall of Fame and Museum. I felt like it was relatively well put together, though there was an abundance of different game-worn Mets jerseys which, while cool, are basically the same thing over and over again.

The highlights? For me the 1969 and 1986 World Series Championship trophies clearly go without saying as the most impressive items on display. The individual plaques for every Hall of Fame member are also pretty cool (though I wonder where the busts from Shea's Diamond club are), not to mention various other small Mets historical artifacts that provide intrigue. But the best thing there? That has to be the original Mr. Met outfit, which, for lack of a better word, looks awful.

And I still think it's awesome.

The game itself was mundane and vaguely disappointing, Ike Davis continued to rocket to stardom with a phenomenal catch over the dugout railing in foul territory. Of course, he also proved later in the night that he is awful agaisnt lefthanders. Hopefully that part changes. What I hope never changes is the character of the people you bump into on the subway ride back. I had to deal with one odd man, who misheard what I did for a living and assumed I was a writer for NFL.com. He took advantage of the moment to tell me that he was a great player who wouldn't make the pros because of a knee injury, but that "players play and writers write, you do what you do best."

And he insisted the way I should do what I do best was to take it from him and "put it in the column tomorrow" that Ben Roethlisberger would be traded before the Draft. When I told him that I would be incredibly surprised by this for a number of reasons, he kept insisting that I "put it in the column." I'm not sure why he was so convinced, I can tell you I'm not, but given that a) I don't have a football column to write and b) if I did, I'm fairly sure "some guy on the seven train" wouldn't be considered a solid source, well, I won't be writing that column.

If I'm proven wrong, and, well, I'm pretty sure I won't be, it won't take long to know. Like I said, I will be watching.