It's BMack's Birthday

He may not have got the Chipendale's job, but there is still reason to celebrate. BMack has turned another year older. He's turning into an old man I tell yea. So Happy Birthday BMack, looks like the Lock Out came at an opportune time.

Speaking Of People Who Write

VS

It's Friday and there wasn't any sports that interested me last night so I'm just gonna ramble about stuff you don't care about. I'm going to play Don King here and set up a battle between The Captain vs Jesus who write for DC. They are easily the best two writers in the family (I mean they make BMack and I look like retards with the way we write) and they are both polar opposites on certain things. For instance The Captain is a pessimist who is a giant hockey fan, despises basketball and is very stubborn when it comes to certain things like acknowledging when the Patriots failures, Ben Roethlisberger's innocence, and that Basketball is a better sport than Hockey, while Jesus is generally happy, loves basketball, hates Hockey, but loves stupid things like golf and tennis . So what am I doing? I'm setting up a debate between the two heavyweights on having an ongoing debate about something, I'm leaning towards a Basketball/ Hockey article figuring they are both on opposite sides with that, but I feel we do that too much as is. The challenge is on boys. Only in America!!

Where Is BMack?

It's been a delightful week with BMack gone.... I didn't have to read about his Jon Lester excuse making, Pretending to be a Patriots fan but really a Packers fan, nonsensical talk and his bold statements that don't make much sense or have zero relevance to anything. For all of you who were wondering he has been away trying out at Chippendales and unfortunately he didn't make it. The try outs were so trying that he couldn't even take time out of his busy day to make his stupid trying to be clever comments. Fortunately or Unfortunately he will be back Monday. But in the meantime I made a Where's Waldo type of thing that includes BMack. Find him and we will mail you an envelope.

"Pat and John On..." Facebook

Back in freshman year of college someone told me about some website called the facebook where you put some info in about yourself and can officially become “friends” with your friends. It was a less creepy myspace since it only allowed college students (another slap in the face to your dumb ass friends who couldn't even get into Community College--but also, it showed you were officially better and smarter than your friends that were at vocational school. I'm looking at you, University of Phoenix). Since then, it’s dropped the “the” and facebook has taken over. It’s replaced photo albums, birthday cards, AIM, “e-vites”, being social, liking things, real life stalking, and for that matter, real life talking too. Walls used to be things you put up to separate rooms from one another. Now you post on them. Facebook has become our one stop shop to keep tabs on anyone and everyone, it has killed the need to ever have a high school reunion again because you already know what everyone is doing, who got knocked up and who doubled in size since you left school. Facebook is a daily high school reunion, and while you’re stalking your way around it’s pages you are sure to run into these people:

Ex Girl/boyfriends
Random hot skanks that your friends are friends with
“Come See My Show,” guy
The Comment/Like Fiend
The Bragger
The Uber Post-er

For our thoughts on these people, and more Click Here

Check out "Pat and John On..." for a new post every Monday.

Draft Street

Hey everyone, we got everything fixed with Draft Street, and they have been gracious enough to set up a league for us. It is free here is all the details...

Baseball season is in full swing and it’s time for fantasy baseball. But not the full-season, six-month crap. I’m talking about a one-night showdown. Dueling Couches has teamed up with DraftStreet.com to offer an exclusive free contest to DuelingCouches.com readers. The freeroll will have cash prizes, the top 4 get paid, and it is totally free to sign up. How can you not get in on this?

Here’s how you play: Fill your roster (C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, 3 OF, 2 U, 2 SP, RP, P) while staying within the budget of $100k. Player salaries are set by DraftStreet based on fantasy production. So, if you want to put Roy Halladay on the mound it might cost you $16k, which means you’ll have to find some bargains to fill out the rest of your squad.

Sign up now for free. Build a team (you can adjust your roster up until the games start). Then check out the scoreboard when the games start and watch your team win you cash.

($100 Prize Pool - 4 Places Paid)

DP's Team:
C: Joe Mauer
1: Miggy
2: Aaron Hill
SS: Assrubal Cabrera
3: Pablo Sandoval
OF: Justin Upton
OF: Delmon Young
OF: Ryan Braun
U: Dustin Ackley
U: Jayson Werth
P: Felix Hernandez
P: Jon Lester
P: Serge Santos
P: Kevin Gregg

It's wicked fun, join

Join Us For The NBA Draft

We will be on Twitter tonight covering the whole draft. To follow us CLICK HERE

In Regards To The Captain Being Dumb

Every time I turn my back, the haters come out to say hi. And as I was relaxing on a little vacation I go on Dueling Couches to see that the Captain and his miserable self decided to pull a chicken shit move and attack when I couldn't respond. So let me go point by point to shut the Captain up.

1. Hockey is better than basketball. The game is better. The players are more athletic. (Captain)

This is just another case of the Captains inferior complex to basketball, the Celtics, basketball fans. I understand how someone could believe Hockey is better and that's fine, but calling it a "better" sport is ridiculous. The reason why Hockey isn't a better sport is because only probably 25-30% of America can afford to play it. You need to buy skates, ice time, pads, helmets, etc. Hockey is a small step above lacrosse, it's all rich kids who couldn't compete in the more reasonable people sports or Canadians.

Also, Hockey is a snoozefest, call me when there isn't a 3-2 or a 1-0 game. Playing keep away for 3 periods sucks. Way to go, you try to score passed someone who takes up 70% of the net.

As for the "athlete" argument, Basketball players play for more than minute, fifteen shifts. If you took the average player from each sport and had them compete in athletic events like run, jump, lift a basketball player would win 9 out of 10 times.

2. Daisuke sucks. His 18 win season was luck. He's never been a true member of the Red Sox, he only cares about what's good for him and not what's good for the team. He's been allowed to do his own thing, and his career has been plagued by injuries because of that. There's no such thing as a gyroball. (Captain)

18 wins and a under 3 era playing in the AL East isn't luck. Having a career record of +20 wins isn't lucky. Winning a World Series game isn't lucky. When the Sox started fucking around with his own routine, that's when he started getting injured. As for the gyroball, you might be right.

3. The Perkins trade was a mistake.(Captain)

So knowing both results from each team, how could one say this. Perkins pretty much cost the Thunder from advancing in the playoffs with his lack of scoring. The Celtics weren't going to advance passed the Heat with a unhealthy Rondo if Perkins was or wasn't on the team. And looking at it now, we at least have Jeff Green and the Clippers 2012 1st draft pick, if we had Perkins we would have had none of that, including Kendrick.

4. Ben Roethlisberger is a rapist. He got away with rape because of a misogynist cop who had befriended Ben earlier in the night, and because he surrounded himself with off-duty cops from PA. He wasn't an idiot to go to that bar, because he was smart enough to protect himself.

Oh, and Tom Brady is much better than Roethlisberger. (Captain)

For someone who pulls the "DP obviously nows more than the Patriots and Bill Belichick" everytime the Patriots do something boneheaded, he does an awful lot of assuming when it comes to Ben. The Captain wasn't there that night, I wasn't, and no one reading this site was, So all you can really do is base the final verdict or a lack of one. Ben never got charged, thus he didn't do anything wrong. And As for saying Brady is much better than Ben, Ben can win playoff games, Brady just works on his salsa lessons from his husband Gisele.

5. College football players shouldn't get paid. USC and Ohio State are SCHOOLS. Athletes get plenty of benefits when they attend these schools. Paying people to attend one's college is wrong.(Captain)

This argument is going to take long, but obviously the Captain likes fucking 18-21 year old kids who make the schools millions of dollars.

6. Barry Bonds is a cheat, a liar, a clubhouse cancer, and a scumbag. He hates Boston, he hates baseball fans. Any Boston fan that likes him is misguided. (captain)

Again, he goes with the assumption arguement when it comes to people he doesn't like. There is no actual evidence against Bonds other than mere speculation. He was the greatest baseball player in the modern era and should be treated like that. And I don't think scumbags pay for college for injured fans children, so how about you revisit your accusations.

7. Rex Ryan is an overrated, walking (waddling) reality TV show who likes sniffing feet and putting videos of his wife on the internet for everyone to see. And any Boston fan who likes a team from New Jersey, even if they hate the local football team, is a traitor.(Captain)

Speaking from someone who feels the need to put down the Celtics/ Celtics fans at any drop of the hat. I hate the Patriots and Rex Ryan can win some games. He backs up his talk and going to 2 conference finals in your 1st 2 years of coaching with a mediocre qb is pretty damned impressive. He doesn't need to win pretty, or run the score up during the regular season, he just wins when it counts. Something they haven't been able to say in New England for the past couple of years.

Oh yea, I forgot:
Hideo Nomo is not the Japanese Jackie Robinson.

If that's the case, explain this:

and Boom goes the dynamite