Super Happy Baseball Fun Time Hour 2011

Surely some of you have seen some advertisement in your years for a Japanese imported TV show with a title that doesn't quite translate to the U.S. One episode of Seinfeld made particular light of this because a brief clip of Jerry on a Japanese TV show meant he was going to receive countless royalty checks for a whopping 12 cents, which led him to have a serious case of writer's cramp. I title this post this way because, in case you hadn't noticed, the 2011 Major League Baseball season started today and like I do in most years, I probably need to write some sort of preview detailing how I think these things will go. And really, considering the team that I follow and put my irrational faith in, well, I'd rather not talk about how things will go. That's because I'm unlikely to see a baseball season that goes how I want it to unless I start following a team from Japan, where baseball might actually be a super happy fun time this year.

And really, if I wanted to do just that, I do already have the appropriate merchandise for a team to support.

However, while I do follow two sports teams in foreign countries fairly closely, adding a third that is in a country that doesn't speak English is probably too much work. So .... I'm stuck with the Mets. And this year that doesn't look like it's going to be too good a situation. And what would give me that idea beyond the whole "bloated-roster-with-aging-expensive-ineffective-players-coupled-with-a-painfully-thin-farm-system-and-an-ownership-group-that-is-currently-being-sued-for-a-billion-dollars-because-of-its-connection-with-a-ponzi-scheme" thing?

Well, if you read the Sports Illustrated baseball preview this week and its scouting report on New York, it included really positive nuggets like, "Their system is really thin and there's not a lot there. I don't see an impact player coming from within and they have to change the climate. If they're smart, they'll blow the club up and start over," and "God help them." Not making that last one up, either. Fortunately, Terry Collins sent me a letter this morning letting me know that everything's cool, which I can only assume is some sort of misguided April Fool's joke. So basically the Mets are widely expected to be terrible this season, which I suppose isn't surprising, but I can at least take solace in the fact that the Phillies won't be winning the World Series.

And how do I know this?

Well, I could go into detail about how their historically impressive pitching staff is currently just masking an offense that will be nowhere near what it was three years ago when they won the World Series, but really I'm simply relying on the fact that the Phils were the cover subject of this year's Major League Baseball preview issue. And we know how I feel about Sports Illustrated and its supposedly nonsensical cover curse. But also, let's take a look at SI Cover subjects for their baseball previews over the years. If you do your research, you'll see that with the bizarre exception of an impressive three of four stretch that included the 2006 St. Louis Cardinals, 2007 Boston Red Sox and 2009 New York Yankees, Sports Illustrated hasn't featured the eventual champ on its baseball preview cover in my lifetime. Though it did curiously predict the 1998 home run chase. That's a going rate of 3 for 25 right now, an average which is, to say the least, not good enough for Cooperstown.

So, uh, yeah, I'm not worried based on that entirely irrelevant statistic. Some of you may say that the picks I'm about to make are somewhat biased because the season already started today, but, uh, for the 12 teams that did open their season, there's still 99.4% of the season to go. I'm pretty sure it will matter about as much as it would have if I wrote this yesterday.

Let's make some awful predictions.

NL EAST

1. Philadelphia
2. Atlanta
3. Florida
4. NY Mets
5. Washington

The upsetting thing here is that putting the Mets ahead of the Nationals, who are actually building quite well, might be optimistic of me. God, I hope that's not the case, but I couldn't swear to it at this point. Either way, I will maintain hope that New York does something, anything well. In the meantime, I'll just get bitter about seeing the Phillies win another division title despite an aging offensive with several holes now that Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley are older and Jayson Werth has taken his act to D.C.

NL Central

1. Milwaukee
2. Cincinnati
3. Chicago
4. St. Louis
5. Pittsburgh
6. Houston

I've been waiting quite some time for the Brewers to finally break through and take a division title, and with Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder still in the lineup and Zach Greinke now joining the rotation, if it isn't happening this year, it isn't happening any year. Plus, my favorite beer is from Wisconsin and they're generally nice people so sure, let's give 'em this one. I'll put my chips on the Crew this time, why not?

NL West

1. San Francisco
2. Colorado (WC)
3. Los Angeles
4. San Diego
5. Arizona

The smart money says that a lot of people don't really think the Giants have a chance at repeating their unlikely run as World Series champions from last year, but I actually think they've got a decent shot for the obvious reason that their pitching is absurdly stacked -- and for many years at that. Lincecum, Cain and the newcomer Bumgarner will all be a part of the equation for years, and while the Phillies' rotation may boast more names, Philadelphia's pitchers will ply their trade in a park built for offense. AT&T Park in San Francisco is the best pitchers' park in the NL west of Queens.

AL East

1. Boston
2. Tampa Bay (WC)
3. NY Yankees
4. Baltimore
5. Toronto

I have a lot of friends who are Yankees fans. A lot of them will not be pleased that I don't have the Yankees making the playoffs. And that prediction is, I'm sure, probably the most obviously wrong one about this whole thing. But I have a hunch that New York's offensive studs -- Cano, Teixeira, et al -- are going to be offset by the declining offensive skills and defensive black hole that happens to sit on the left side of the infield. But it's cool because he got a totally necessary, rational and reasonably priced contract this winter for a 36-year-old who hit .270 last season. I know, I know. It's payback for all he's given you. Good thing, too since he didn't get paid very well on his last contract. Oh, and their pitching rotation has one bona fide ace and four question marks, one of whom has started all of seven games in the Majors. Oh yeah, and the Rays are totally loaded with cheap young talent. So there's that.

AL Central

1. Minnesota
2. Detroit
3. Chicago
4. Kansas City
5. Cleveland

I don't think your eventual champ is coming from this division, I sort of like the relatively well-rounded make up of the Twins, and I don't like a whole lot else. But as every magazine seems to be noting, the Royals just might be primed for a run at the World Series.... in 2015. Seriously, that team is going to kick some serious ass when I'm 30 with the prospects they've got coming up. And the real amusing thing? They could go to that World Series to face another team that has put a large amount of money in its farm system lately... Pittsburgh. Yeah, a Royals-Pirates World Series. Of course this year that would be, you know, nonsense.

AL West

1. Texas
2. Oakland
3. Anaheim
4. Seattle

A lot of people think the Rangers made the World Series last year for the first time in franchise history because they caught a lot of lucky breaks, which is right about the fact that they, well, caught some lucky breaks. But they were also, you know, really good. And that offense is downright scary. And the rest of the this division isn't. So, lucky or not, why isn't this team an obvious choice to repeat exactly? I guess we'll find out in October when I look back and see that I'm wrong on this.

Ok, so now we've basically got something like this, right?

NLDS
(4) Colorado over (1) Philadelphia
(2) San Francisco over (3) Milwaukee

ALDS

(1) Boston over (3) Minnesota
(4) Tampa Bay over (2) Texas

NLCS
(2) San Francisco over (4) Colorado

ALCS
(1) Boston over (4) Tampa Bay

2011 World Series
(1) Boston over (2) San Francisco

So yeah. The Red Sox are going to win the World Series for the third time in eight seasons. That's my prediction, and it's highly uninspired and boring -- and it seems like something that would be completely unbelievable if I were still in my childhood -- but, well, it's probably right. Unless the Mets pull a 1969, but I don't see that coming. And neither do the experts.

Barring a miracle, I'm looking at next year. But hey, maybe it'll shock me. I guess I'll find out at 7 p.m. tonight.

See, I Was Mostly Kidding About That SI Cover Jinx Thing

But maybe I should have thought about it a bit more closely. See, I don't really believe in curses. I think they're silly. Unless you happen to referring to the Chicago Cubs. But given that Sports Illustrated's cover jinx strikes as frequently as it does, a statistically significant percentage of the time, perhaps I should be thinking differently. I had often assumed there were inherent biases in the original study, such as the fact that teams featured on the cover are often more likely than not to be playing a major elimination game immediately afterward which they only hold a 50/50 shot at winning anyway. And when all else fails, I would always rely on the fact that after knocking off Green Bay in a thrilling 2007 NFC Championship Game at bitter Lambeau Field, Eli Manning was thrust onto the cover inviting certain doom.

But we all know what happened then.

So of course, the Giants' Super Bowl XLII victory was irrefutable proof that the cover jinx was just a silly joke to bring up from time to time and not something to fear perpetually. But this year may have changed my tune. After seeing both the Jets and Bears turn in performances that left them shy of reaching the big game, I started to wonder if this year's covers, and last year's covers, might be indicative of a trend. And sure enough, if you really want to search back through the seasons there are even more examples of the eventual Championship Sunday losers getting tossed on their hides one game short of the Super Bowl.

After years of only bringing up the SI Cover Curse for purposes of mock humor, perhaps it's finally time to start taking it seriously, or at least to campaign for the Giants, Mets, Devils, Knicks or Northwestern to never ever appear on the cover again unless it is immediately following a championship victory. Fortunately, I know I'll never have to worry about that happening with Southampton FC (who happens to be facing off with Manchester United in the FA Cup this weekend) or the Geelong Cats. Probably not the Devils or Northwestern either, who have all of three cover appearances between them.

That said, with the cover now laying both individuals, teams and even whole leagues in its wake, it could finally be time to give it real credence.

Unless, of course, you're rational.

I never claimed to be that, but there are probably several decent reasons as to why the Bears and Jets lost this past weekend beyond some slips of paper. After all, the Bears were never quite as good as their record this season while the Packers, who finished a respectable 10-6, were generally thought to be not nearly as bad as theirs. It didn't take a football savant to realize that Green Bay was playing better than, well, anyone in the League heading into the NFC Championship Game, and the fact that this season the Pack were simply better than the Bears is likely what accounted for their victory Sunday.

One could just as easily have made the same arguments for the Steelers topping the Jets right afterward, but that game is a horse of a different color. For one, the teams were far more evenly matched. For another, the Jets, who cordially spotted Pittsburgh a 24-0 lead in the first half, very nearly capped a comeback for the ages and only failed to do so by shooting themselves in the foot. That is not to say the Steelers didn't play well enough to win the game -- clearly they did -- but New York, which displayed frightful ineptitude for the first 29 minutes or so played an absolutely dominant second half on both sides of the ball.

However, this game wound up resting on a very delicate precipice in the middle of the fourth quarter which saw New York make two very crucial errors. The Jets were at the tail end of what had the makings of being an absolutely legendary postseason drive. After pulling it to within 24-10, New York embarked on a massive 80-yard, 17-play drive that brought them down to the Pittsburgh goal line with four chances to punch it in and make it a one-score game with plenty of time remaining. I am of the opinion that had New York scored here and had seven minutes to work with against a Pittsburgh offense that had shown no ability to move the ball in the second half on a revitalized Jets defense and a Pittsburgh defense that had been unable to slow anything down over the previous quarter an a half, that the Jets would be in Super Bowl XLV.

But there were two crucial mistakes. One can be shouldered squarely by Jets offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer, who instead of simply ramming the ball in four times -- you're bound to get one whole yard if you just keep pushing -- decided to get too cute. Now Schottenheimer can't simply be blamed without being praised. Had it not been for a gutsy deep throw on one of the Jets' early possessions in the second half, New York wouldn't have been in a position to swing the momentum so dramatically. But by calling complex, long-developing plays near the goal line instead of just ramming his running backs at the box, Schottenheimer dropped the ball.

However, the biggest mistake may have been on third down, when Schottenheimer called a quick inside slant that was immediately knocked down and nearly intercepted by Lamarr Woodley. Why that play was called to begin with I won't quite understand, but this truly is an error by quarterback Mark Sanchez, who needs to recognize that Woodley is in the likely path of the pass he needs to throw and immediately audible out of that play -- something he failed to do. The Jets not scoring here caused a fatal turning point, if for no other reason than that they were unable to get the ball back after finally making it a one-score game because there simply wasn't enough time on the clock. And that was the end of New York's second straight postseason heartbreak. Somehow, this wound up being just the second-most offensive thing to happen to New Yorkers this weekend.

That said -- and what I'm about to say is entirely facetious because of course the Jets would rather have won the game -- perhaps it's better that the Jets wound up not winning because the NFL made the absolutely bizarre decision this year to take the George S. Halas Trophy given to the NFC Champion and the Lamar Hunt Trophy, given to the AFC Champion, and turn what were two of the classiest, stateliest trophies in sports and turn them into a bizarre minimalist art exhibit.

Really. It begs the question of, uh, why was this at all necessary?

Fortunately for us, we've got the always reliable Uniwatch to break down the specific changes for us, and less importantly, how he feels about them. Still, this just wreaks of rebranding run amok. Not only was the change unnecessary and were the old trophies, at least in my opinion, incredibly stately, but the new ones kind of look chintzy, cheap and, well lame. Just take one look at how the dinky miniature of Jodie Foster's space travel machine in Contact looks in Steelers owner Art Rooney's hand and compare it with the expressions on Santanio Holmes and Mike Tomlin's faces from two years ago when the won the AFC and were rewarded with a trophy that had some heft to it. It's nearly impossible to hold the damn thing without looking like you're afraid of breaking it. I'm highly skeptical that they would, but here's hoping the NFL realizes the error of its ways.

If not, well, that'll just be par for the course. There are bigger concerns like, say, having to move home games because of a U2 concert. Who knows how the Marlins would respond to, you know, having people in the stands. Could be awkward.

In any event, what's done is done. Now we just have that eternal two-week wait for Super Bowl XLV to kick off between the Steelers and Packers before that even longer winter of our discontent -- which actually happens in summer -- until the next football season. I'll have a whole preview written for next week -- or at least a prediction. I'm not going to explicitly say who I'm picking now, but let's just say there are some outside forces that could give you some idea of where I'm going.

Those Bastards At Sports Illustrated Have Done It Again

Well, I'm sorry, Jets fans. Just when you thought your team was cresting at the right time and finally going to break through in their third AFC Championship Game appearance in the last 13 years, Sports Illustrated, for the second straight year, decided to take a big ol' cutlass and slice your dreams to pieces. How'd they pull that off, you say? Well, my worries regarding the Sports Illustrated Cover Jinx are well documented in multiple posts on this here blog, and like any smart, rational person, I immediately assume that must be the reason things have not gone according to plan. If any of you remember, last year's Divisional playoffs spawned two regional covers, which featured both the Jets and the Vikings. In the case of Minnesota, the cover even proclaimed "Favre on Fire" just days before his foolish across the body pass would be intercepted by Terry Porter when the Vikes were driving for a game-winning field goal against New Orleans.

While the Jets also lost, one could easily argue that this was due not just to the editorial decisions in the Time Inc. offices, but also because they tried as hard as possible to jinx themselves. But that doesn't leave much of an excuse for what happened this time around. After publishing regional covers last year that resulted in both cover teams losing their respective conference championship games, you'd think the brilliant minds at SI would remember that unless we're entering a bizarre period of gonzo journalism, they're supposed to stay out of the way and leave the outcome unaffected by their presence.

Well they didn't learn their goddamn lesson.

Much as America must love seeing Tom Brady look like a five-year-old who just saw his prized blankey and teddy bear make like Steve Buscemi in Fargo, and as awesome a photograph as that picture of Jay Cutler approaching the line in snowy Chicago is, something about this just seems plain wrong -- as if Sports Illustrated, knowing its curse-wreaking power, has consciously selected whom it wants to play in Super Bowl XLV. It just ain't right, or at least it won't be if the anticipated effect takes place.

Granted, with four classic franchises like Green Bay, Chicago, New York and Pittsburgh making up the Final Four, we're pretty much guaranteed a great, traditional matchup no matter what happens. And more over, with Green Bay title-less for 14 years now, Chicago in the midst of a 25-year drought and the Jets now a stunning 42 years removed from their last Super Bowl appearance, we've got a 75% chance of seeing a Champion we haven't seen an a long while. All of these things bode well for an end to the season that will seem both classic and refreshing all at once.

But given Sports Illustrated's dirty tricks, we're pretty much guaranteed a Packers-Steelers matchup in Super Bowl XLV, right?


NOT SO FAST.

Yes, the Sports Illustrated curse may be accurate roughly a third of the time, but there is another powerful sports trend that in the last half decade has had a startling 100% accuracy rate, and like the answers to most things, this lies, draped in purple, on the shores of Lake Michigan at Northwestern University. The city of Chicago will be having a particularly big sports day this Sunday, as the Blackhawks will host the Flyers in a rematch of last year's Stanley Cup Final before the major event of the day when the Bears and Packers face off in the postseason for the first time in seven decades and then, of course, Northwestern's men's hoops game against Wisconsin -- a double dip of Chicago-Wisconsin blood feuding. But Chicago's greatest influence in sports may come from its Big Ten team, which has recently provided us with the anticurse of professional football: The Power of Willie.

The Power of Willie

Unbeknownst to most of you, Northwestern has a decent number of players in the NFL, but the quantity is hardly remarkable. What is remarkable, however, is that the last five teams to win the Super Bowl have all had a Northwestern grad on their roster. To wit:

Super Bowl XL: Trai Essex, Pittsburgh Steelers
Super Bowl XLI: Matt Ulrich, Indianapolis Colts
Super Bowl XLII: Barry Coefield, New York Giants
Super Bowl XLIII: Trai Essex, Pittsburgh Steelers
Super Bowl XLIV: Zach Strief, New Orleans Saints

So, obviously, you're thinking, "Gee Dave, since this is clearly an irrefutable rule, who still stands a chance this season?" Well, I'll tell you. Just about everyone. Except for one awfully big green and gold outlier.

Pittsburgh
Trai Essex

New York
Marquice Cole

Chicago
Nick Roach
Corey Wootton

Green Bay
None

So there you have it. The Green Bay Packers, who just might look the best of any of the remaining four teams right now, have virtually no shot to take home their fourth Lombardi Trophy this season. Willie has decreed it.

But don't worry, Packer Backers. While this means you won't win the Super Bowl, it doesn't mean you won't win this week. And frankly, I think you will. So let's get to these picks here.

NFC Championship
(6) Green Bay over (2) Chicago
Yes, the Bears are certainly playing much better right now than I would have anticipated, and of course they are the home team in what will certainly be frigid weather and crummy footing, but frankly, I have a hard time imagining anything cooling down Aaron Rodgers right now. Much as I'd like to see the chance of two Wildcats taking home hardware, I just can't see the Packers, at the level they're currently playing at, not pulling this out either by blowout or nailbiter. But then again, I've been wrong before.

AFC Championship
(6) NY Jets over (2) Pittsburgh
What? Again? I'm taking the Jets again? Well, yeah, I am. I think. I have no real rational reason to believe the Jets are going to beat the Steelers this weekend -- frankly, I'm pretty certain Pittsburgh is the better team -- but there just looks to be something about this team and how it's playing now that makes me think they're going to accomplish some bigger things, particularly with last year's conference title game experience in their memory bank. Besides, I'm still flying high after correctly calling their upset last week, even if some people are too petty to let it go. Why not see the ride continue?

So yes, I know this seems unusual, after all, pitting two six seeds against each other in a Super Bowl is an odd choice considering only one six seed has ever appeared in the NFL's title game, but this doesn't seem like your typical playoff tournament, and these don't seem like your typical six seeds. I feel like I'm on pretty steady ground. And given the Power of Willie and perhaps some additional inspiration, does this mean I think when all is said and done on February 6th that the Jets will have won the Super Bowl?

Well, yes it does. But don't get too excited just yet, Jets nation. I have been wrong before. But hey, my picks are 6-2 so far this postseason. Let's just say I like my chances.

NFL Picks Week Fifteen: In Which I Care About The Knicks Again

Holy shit.

After a decade of ambivalence towards a team that made mediocrity seem good, I actually care about the Knicks again. For those of you who haven't been paying attention, New York has won 13 of 14 games with their last being an impressive victory over the Nuggets Sunday afternoon. While another winning streak was halted last night in a heartbreaking last second loss to the Boston Celtics, there are a few things to notice here about this team. First of all, Amar'e Stoudemire is a monster in the front court, plain and simple. I was among the chorus of individuals who viewed him as a nice signing for the 'Bockers this offseason, but not one that could singlehandedly turn a franchise's fortunes around. His role was best as a second fiddle to someone like LeBron James, who shockingly landed elsewhere.

I was wrong.

Not only can Amar'e be "the guy", but he's thriving of late. Of course, second of all, for me to say he is the sole reason for the Knicks' recent good fortune would be shortsighted. Danilo Gallinari, Raymond Felton and Wilson Chandler have all played parts in the resurgence. Third of all, this game, even as a loss, proves the Knicks can play with the big boys. This wasn't a fluke, this wasn't random and it could be a harbinger of the team's return to relevance in a League in which New York has been an utter non-factor for the past decade. I have at times lamented both the Knicks' absurd mediocrity and my own youthful foolishness in choosing to root for them, but perhaps, at long last, that may no longer be the case.

Wednesday night's wild shootout with Boston was the second time the Garden rocked this week, and MSG hasn't had that kind of basketball excitement in it since the Knicks lost to San Antonio in the 1999 NBA Finals, or maybe even since the days of Patrick Ewing and John Starks. Now things are different and even the opposition, in this case Paul Pierce, recognizes it. After the game last night Pierce noted, "The Knicks have arrived."

So, in the midst of all this excitement, I bring to the table a curiousity wholly related to the sudden rise of Mike D'Antoni's boys.

This feels kind of funny.

No, not ha-ha funny. This feels weird, odd, highly unusual. In a good way, of course, but watching the Knicks and actually having a reason to feel hopeful is something I haven't experienced in my entire adult life. So dramatic is the shift that the Knicks missed out on my 2000s jersey-buying spree and as a result I don't even own one piece of Knicks merchandise. It may be time for this to change. A bobblehead or two, or at least a jersey, might be in order in time for my tentative plans to see the Knicks in Philadelphia in February, but before I get to that point, I'm going to need to recognize and reconcile these odd feelings I have about actually wanting to watch the Knicks play basketball again.

The only thing I can really relate this to, and this may sound odd, is the kind of awakening that comes when you hit puberty. I remember, pretty exactly, when the first moment was that I saw a woman in a bikini and was actually intrigued rather than being ambivalent or grossed out. As an 11-year-old whose mother had, for whatever reason, opted not to tell Sports Illustrated to keep the Swimsuit Issue to itself when I moved over from SI for Kids, I saw the 1997 SI Swimsuit Issue on my coffee table one February, the first thing even remotely close to pornography that I had ever owned. The thoughts that run through your mind when you aren't quite sure if you're supposed to like what you're seeing -- even though you know you do -- are a cautious curiosity of the as yet unknown. And while this may seem like an utterly ridiculous parallel to draw -- that's because it is -- that's what I feel like I'm experiencing with the Knicks. The unknown. I've never known what it's like to be a post-pubescent adult who actually has a reason to be optimistic or care about the Knicks. I don't know what this is or how to manage it, just that I may not have a choice in doing so. And given that situation, I'm going to do whatever it is I can to make the best of it. Or at least enjoy it.

Now that said, I understand that it's foolish to assume the Knickerbockers are suddenly championship contenders. But they are, at long last on the road back.

They matter. And last night is as a piece of evidence as you can hope for that they do.

And with all that said, I sometimes feel as though I've written a solid blog post that stands on its own -- and this is one of them. But those damn Thursday night NFL games mean I'm going to have to hackily tack my NFL picks onto this ode to 'Bocker basketball. So here we go.

Last week: 9-7-0
Season: 104-95-10

SAN DIEGO (-9) over San Francisco
NY GIANTS (-3) over Philadelphia
Cleveland (+1) over CINCINNATI
DALLAS (-6) over Washington
Houston (+2) over TENNESSEE
Jacksonville (+5) over INDIANAPOLIS
Kansas City (even) over ST. LOUIS
MIAMI (-6) over Buffalo
TAMPA BAY (-6) over Detroit
Arizona (+1) over CAROLINA
New Orleans (+1) over BALTIMORE
SEATTLE (+7) over Atlanta
OAKLAND (-7) over Denver
NY Jets (+6) over PITTSBURGH
NEW ENGLAND (even) over Green Bay
Chicago (even) over MINNESOTA

And there you have it. I'm off to watch some Knicks basketball. For the first time in a long time.

See? I Told You All Hockey Was Awesome

For all you people who claim hockey is boring and that you don't know how it could be entertaining, the whole lot of you got smacked in the face tonight with the United States' upset win over Canada at the Vancouver Olympics, its first victory against its northern neighbors at an Olympic Games in 50 years. This was an exciting, taut matchup between two geographic rivals that played with the same effort and tension you'd see in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Both teams viewed it as a key stepping stone to a medal, and what followed with tons of great saves, great goals and wild end-to-end rushes was great theater. America's victory has set them up for a fantastic shot at the medal rounds, while dealing a startling blow to Canadian national pride.

Now, unfortunately, I'm going to have to break down to all of you in a few minutes why this might not have been the hallmark moment you thought it was -- to say nothing of the fact that Canada is still very much alive for the gold medal -- but don't worry, if you want to relish in it for a few seconds, I'll let you have your moment.

...

There you go. Now, I'm not going to be one of those self-congratulatory hockey fans who begins to criticize the vast majority of you for not caring about hockey until tonight --  it seems Gawker already did it for me. I don't mind people jumping on the bandwagon when the Olympics come around. Swells of patriotism and the joy of national triumph are what the Olympics are all about, even if douchebag extraordinaire Christopher Hitchens doesn't seem to agree. Furthermore, without it we wouldn't get gems of comments by Canadians such as this one.

No, I'm glad you're all watching, and I'm glad you're all pissed off that the game was relegated to MSNBC rather than NBC's national telecast. If the U.S. team can make a stirring run to the medal round, rally the country behind it and convert some of you out there into real hockey fans who keep watching come the Stanley Cup playoffs this year, tonight's game will have been a victory not just in the Olympics but for hockey as a whole. This is Canada's game, but making it healthier in the U.S. can only better the sport for everyone.

And how exactly did we get here? Well it's very clear that this game started and ended with Ryan Miller's play between the pipes. Miller has been stellar this season for the Buffalo Sabres in what has already been a fine career to this point, but tonight was a level I have never seen him at before. In a tense, pressurized rivalry game in front of an opposition crowd and on an international stage, Miller was unconscious throughout and made several huge stops en route to a 42-save night.

Meanwhile, you can call it a stretch if you want, but with my hero Martin Brodeur in goal, the following players factored heavily into every U.S. goal, with the exception of Ryan Kesler's empty-netter: Zach Parise, Jamie Langenbrunner, Brian Rafalski and Chris Drury. The fact that I was forced to cheer for Drury in what was essentially a Rangers jersey against a red-bedecked Brodeur was oustandingly uncomfortable, but their is a certain national pride that conquers all. Regardless, Drury, as a Ranger, faces Brodeur several times a year, while Rafalski played with Marty on two Stanley Cup-winning squads and Parise and Langenbrunner currently share a locker room with the NHL's All-time wins leader. All of them were familiar with Brodeur. All of them have known him for years and had to have had some idea of how to play him. That edge alone was invaluable.

No, Brodeur was not at his best. Three of those goals were direct results of errors he made playing the puck, and he may very well have played himself out of the starting job, but he still made several outstanding saves in the second period, which was the only period during which the U.S. really controlled play. As Marty said, Miller was the difference -- and he was -- but the fact that three current or former Devils and a Ranger were involved in every scored on Brodeur cannot be overlooked.

As for that last goal by Kesler, it was particularly interesting since it may have sealed his fate of never being able to show his face in Vancouver again. Kesler's upset-sealing tally came on the heels of comments that must have caused a stir north of the border, when he said of the Canadians, "I hate them." That may seem a bit brash, but it's unlikely Kesler will really have to hear from Vancouverites too often since he plays for ... the Vancouver Canucks.

Oops.

Well, with those comments in tow and that diving empty-net score, it might be a safe bet Kesler has punched his ticket out of Vancouver, but at least he looked good doing it, because yes, I'm a total sucker for those totally sweet 1960 Squaw Valley throwbacks the U.S. was wearing tonight. The 1980 jerseys will always have a special spot in my heart -- the U.S. should wear them at every tournament -- but these come a close second. Still, while Kesler stoked some flames, he didn't do anything completely stupid, like, say, mark Alex Ovechkin's colossal hit on Jaromir Jagr with a clearly inappropriate caption on his heavily trafficked website.

So what exactly does this all mean? Well, not as much as you'd think. On MSNBC after the game the following statements were uttered: "The biggest U.S. hockey victory since 1980," "Huge upset" and "Just a bunch of Americans playing a team of future hall of famers." All of these statements are, well, a little over the top.

Let's calm down a little bit people.

First of all, to put this win on par with The Miracle on Ice in 1980 is just plain silly. No upset, no not even the greatest football game ever played, will ever carry the symbolism, political weight and shock of the U.S.'s win over the Soviets in Lake Placid. Besides, the U.S.'s shocking victory at hockey's 1994 World Cup and it's arrival in the Gold Medal Game in Salt Lake City in 2002 were all bigger moments. As for "huge upset", well, these are all NHL players on both sides, and the U.S. and Canada both had a number of star players. Were the Canadians the more talented lot? By quite a margin the answer is yes. But during an NHL season, weak teams with more diluted talent than this still win against the big dogs once in a while. Gretzky's Oilers didn't go undefeated each season. Lastly, "Just a bunch of Americans playing a team of future hall of famers" gives the U.S. team too little credit and the Canadians too much. The Americans are young, and Kesler isn't likely to wind up in the hall, but a number of players on the team, Parise, who was profiled in Sports Illustrated this week, Miller, Patrick Kane to name a few, could very well have long, hall-worthy careers. Of course, it's much too early to make that kind of declaration, but it's hardly out of the realm of possibility. As for the Canadians, Brodeur, Sidney Crosby and more than one or two others on the roster are likely to be honored in Toronto some day. But is Corey Perry? Is Patrice Bergeron?

In any event, this was exciting, but it is probably not the major moment NBC wants you to believe it was. Of course, like I said, if it gets more hockey fans, I'm fine with the outcome, but we ought to see what this really does to the tournament as it stands.

Depending on the outcome of Finland and Sweden, the U.S. seems like it will wind up with the top overall seed in the elimination rounds of what is a very confusing tournament structure -- a surprise to say the least. This means, the Americans will get a bye to the quarterfinals where they will face the winner of Belarus and Switzerland. While Swiss goaltender Jonas Hiller could easily steal a game -- he single-handedly eliminated the Presidents' Trophy-winning San Jose Sharks in the opening round of the postseason last year -- beyond Hiller neither team has a threatening lineup. This means the U.S. could very possibly find its way into the semifinals, which could have them facing a stiffer challenge in the likes of Finland or the Czech Republic.

As for the Canadians, the path gets far more ornery. Canada will face the Germans in the first elimination round, which, frankly, may as well be a day off, but if all the favorites hold and win through the first round of elimination games, Canada will face off with Russia in the quarterfinals, a matchup that insures one of the two pre-tournament gold medal favorites will leave the Olympics with nothing to show for it. If the Canadians are to get past Alex Ovechkin and company -- and I think they would -- they find themselves in the semifinals where their challenges are on the same level as any other team team that gets to that point. In fact, it's very possible that Canada and the U.S. could meet again next Sunday for the gold, and in that situation I don't like the Americans' chances, but that potential matchup with the Russians looms large as the key stumbling block.

Canada has put a lot of pressure on itself to take home what some say is the only medal that matters. As Sports Illustrated put it, without top honors in hockey the Games as a whole will be considered a failure. Being on the magazine's cover may not have helped the team's case, but either way, for Sidney Crosby and the Canadians, the clock is starting to tick.

Oh My God Rick Reilly Shut Up

I wanted to avoid talking about this Tiger Woods press conference. Really, I did. I am so unbelievably tired of this story -- if for no other reason than it is absolutely none of our business -- and yet, well, here I am. Not so much because I feel the need to criticize Tiger, though I am now convinced that he is the worst public speaker alive, but moreso because I need to explain something very clearly to ESPN commentator and former Sports Illustrated columnist Rick Reilly.

Rick. Buddy. Tiger did not cheat on you. He cheated on his wife. Despite how badly you might want to be her, you, Rick Reilly, are not his wife. He does not owe you an apology.

Get it? Got it? Awesome.

Now, I know you may feel like Tiger owes you something since you have all the answers for his troubles even if your colleagues don't necessarily think you do, but he doesn't actually owe you anything. Really, he doesn't. He doesn't owe you anything and he doesn't owe me or any other sports fan anything. At all.

In fact, unless you happen to be a Swedish woman named Elin Nordegren, or are one of Tiger's close relatives, he doesn't owe you any sort of apology at all. Not sure why, Rick? Ok. Let me break it down for you.

For the last 15 years Tiger has been playing golf at such an exceptional level that at one point you even called him a "God". He has provided you with hours of incredible entertainment -- and after all that is really what sports are in the end -- and you, in particular, have managed to get attention and money off of it by writing about him the entire time. Tiger has given you fodder from his teenage years when he was not yet the juggernaut he became and continued to do so throughout his early time on the tour and later as he crafted his remarkable career.

You gave us schmaltzy stories about how wonderful and exciting he is, gave us the not so difficult prediction that he was going to be amazing, told us how quirky and fun he was and on more than one occasion delivered your own account of his sentimental attachment to his father.

Yeah, Rick, you've gotten quite a bit of mileage out of Tiger, and as such, I offer you this advice, which is surely as unwanted as the advice you keep giving him, and that is shut up. The fact is this is purely a personal matter between one man and the wife he has betrayed, and you have almost made a career out of praising Tiger. You have no place to act holier than thou, and, if anything, you might owe Tiger for giving you something to write about. In some ways, Tiger Woods made you, and he is the reason you got to be popular enough to write about leukemia-ridden paraplegics who were trying to play ping pong every week.

Frankly, I think I may owe Tiger for the years of entertainment he has given all of us. He's not the first public figure we've admired and he's not the first one who has strayed. Any of us who feel like we have been personally slighted, need to get over ourselves, and you Mr. Reilly lead that pack.

Now, I will admit, Rick, somehow you have managed not to say the dumbest thing anyone has mentioned on the matter, but that doesn't mean you are any more right to take an expert point of view on what was probably the dullest, least remarkable press conference I have ever seen in my life. By the time Tiger was done apologizing this morning I just wanted those five minutes of my life back, or at the very least, had hoped something more interesting would be announced.

I was really hoping to spend today talking about two remarkable Olympic hockey games last night, with Canada getting by Switzerland in a shootout and Slovakia doing the same later in the evening against Russia. Or at the very least, I was going to wax poetic on the amusing and surprising fun that comes from following the twitterverse during Yevgeny Plyushchenko's long program in men's figure skating last night. But now, after watching Tiger say that his apology to his wife will take months and be defined through his actions -- and he's absolutely right -- all I can think about is how tired I am of hearing you ramble, Rick.

Don't get me wrong. Is Tiger Woods a hypocrite? Absolutely. But Rick, even if you've never cheated on your wife, it looks like you may very well have been cut from the same cloth.

Oh, Hey. The Olympics.

Apparently none of you seem to be noticing that the Games of the XXI Winter Olympiad open tonight in Vancouver, British Columbia. Now, I know most of you probably prefer the summer games and you might be wondering why, exactly, Apolo Anton Ohno, Bode Miller and Lindsey Vonn are suddenly worth knowing about for the first time in four years. Also, you may have forgotten who Sarah Hughes, Bonnie Blair or Jamie Sale and David Pelletier are.

That's fine. But for people like me, well, I love the Olympics. I don't always remember whom all the different stars are, or the defending gold medalists in the vast majority of the competitions, but I love watching all the sports I don't get a chance to see on a regular basis in the U.S. Also, these people are just unbelievably phenomenal athletes.

I enjoy the downhill skiing, and the figure skating, though curling and short track speed skating are really what I get excited about seeing. And if you've never seen the short track speed skating relay before, well, it's like a chaotic ballet on ice.

Oh yeah. And there's hockey.

And by "hockey" I mean, the single greatest hockey tournament in the world. This means you won't be seeing any of these for two weeks, however. With the use of NHL players and no Soviet Union to hate, we'll never be able to see a feat quite like the Miracle on Ice again -- though the 30th anniversary of the greatest upset in sports history is later this month -- but this tournament should be awfully exciting, if for no other reason than Canada, a heavy gold-medal favorite, is hosting the Games. And take it from me since I've had an awful lot of interaction with Canadians in the last two years. Canadians love hockey.

Like they really love it.

Imagine how much you all love your families, significant others and chocolate. Multiply that by about 1,000 and you might get close to how much Canadians love hockey. It's that big up there, and should the home country fail to take home the ultimate prize, well, it won't be pretty north of the border.

And if you doubt the power of the Olympics, or the Sports Illustrated Cover Jinx, or perhaps both, look no further than last week's cover with Lindsey Vonn, who was dubbed "America's Best Woman Skier Ever" only to suffer a major shin injury this week, which may prevent he from competing in a Games where she was expected to take multiple golds. It should be noted, however, that Canadians received a cover with Sidney Crosby on it. If they can't bring home hockey gold, I think they'll know who to blame.

Of course, I'm sure most of you have been paying attention to that other Sports Illustrated that just arrived. I have to be honest, I generally find the swimsuit issue to be kind of silly. Don't get me wrong. If this is the closest I'll ever come to having Brooklyn Decker in my apartment, I'll take it, but the novelty seems to have worn off for me, particularly since the internet doesn't make it difficult to find scantily clad women these days. In fact, in college whenever I would leave the issue out on my desk, the girls who came into my room seemed far more fascinated than the men.

The part I generally find most enjoyable about the issue is when Sports Illustrated prints all the irritated letters it receives in the week after its release. Do these people not know Sports Illustrated sells this? Do they not see the large section of the Letters page for the previous two months telling you who to contact if you don't want to receive the swimsuit issue?

Apparently not.

In other news, before I sign off today, I want to touch on the unfortunate passing of Fred Morrison, the man single-handedly responsible for thousands of hours of entertainment during my college years and beyond. Now, he was elderly, so it's not too surprising the end came, but the man did invent the frisbee. I'm not sure where I'd be without him.

Lastly, on a lighter note -- or more depressing depending on where you're coming from -- New York Mets closer Francisco Rodriguez was outdueled in a softball game by Venezuelan President/Insane Dictator Hugo Chavez. Yeah, you read that right. Chavez was no Eddie Feigner, giving up seven runs in two innings, but K-Rod, the man expected to shut down games for the Amazins this year gave up 11 runs over three innings.

That bodes well. And to think, I was excited that pitchers and catchers report in just eight days. Of course, given that Chavez's team won, naturally, I'm inclined to think the whole outing wasn't exactly on the level. Either way, I think I'm glad the headaches don't begin for six more weeks.

Team No. 31 is Officially On the Docket

I've got some exciting news for all of you, and no, it's not the Blackhawks-Sharks Preview I have up this morning.

Yes, that's right. The next step on the journey is officially scheduled for Feb. 8, 2010, when I and the painfully coerced Bert Wyman will drive down to Philadelphia to see the Flyers face off with the Devils at Wachovia Center.

After all, I figure it's the least Bert owes me after I froze my ass off at the Jets-Bengals game earlier this month with him.

The showdown will be the 31st different team I've seen play a home game and so I'm officially calling it the "Mike Piazza Game", though I'm not sure how comfortable I am associating a hero of my teenage years with Philadelphia. I'll find some way to manage.

It will be my first new team of the year, which is good progress since I'm trying to get to six or so new ones before 2011. Of course, that will all depend on how my schedule breaks down. 2010 is already looking like an awfully expensive and busy year.

Stay tuned, though, a full update and a story will be up.... eventually.

In other news, I think we're going to get a pretty strong indicator of just how powerful Sports Illustrated is soon. And by that I mean the New Orleans Saints officially have no chance of winning the Super Bowl. Yes, the SI Cover Jinx doesn't always come through, but after knocking off the two teams featured on regional covers on Championship Sunday, this irrational superstition looks like it's on a roll. Fortunately for Drew Brees and company, there is still another issue set to come out before Super Bowl XLIV kicks off. I would expect a lot of people in the Bayou to hope their native son, Peyton Manning, gets some cover love before the big game.

The SI Cover Jinx Lives

I think it's hard to be surprised by the fact that the Saints and Colts will be facing off in the Super Bowl. And no, that's not because both the Jets and Vikings were on the cover of Sports Illustrated in their respective regions this week -- though I wouldn't entirely discount that I suppose.

New Orleans and Indianapolis were simply the best teams in the league for most of the year, even if both slowed down near the end of the season. Regardless, I do have some sympathy for the Jets, who, after they had taken a 17-6 lead late in the first half, I really started to believe they were going to win the game. But in an eerie similarity to their last AFC Championship appearance in 1998, one big pass play by a future Hall of Fame quarterback turned the tide for good.

As for the NFC, this was a great game marred by a drawn-out, booth-review and penalty-flag filled overtime that was fairly unsatisfying. For me, however, the highlight -- beyond Brett Favre throwing another pick on a potential conference-winning drive -- was when Joe Buck pointed out that the Vikings hadn't won an NFC Championship Game since their last Super Bowl appearance.

Keen insight.

So who's going to win Super Bowl XLIV? Hell, I don't know. Give me 13 days to think about it.

In the meantime, I hope you all can stand the wait. I'll have a full-fledged story up for you all tomorrow.

When You Desperately Want to One-Up SI

I'm not a particularly superstitious man, but my first thought when I saw this week's Sports Illustrated with a screaming Mark Sanchez on the cover was, "The Jets are not winning the Super Bowl."

Though it should be noted that Sports Illustrated released regional covers this week, the SI cover jinx is a long-known old wives tale, and as the Jets shoot for an unlikely berth in their first Super Bowl since the last days of the Johnson administration, this could factor into their heads. Well, actually, the likelihood of that is pretty slim. But either way, for a group of fans as anxious as Jets fans are, it was just about the worst thing they could have seen ahead of this week's AFC Championship Game at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis.

Just about.

At least that's what I thought until my buddy Bert, who had been trying to convince me to take a spur of the moment trip to Indy this Sunday, showed me an e-mail that was sent to him and, presumably, other Jets fans today containing the image to the right. Now depending on what you read both teams have done this, and yes they are actually selling this already, but how on Earth could any of them feel comfortable tempting fate this way?

I know I wouldn't.

This is just asking for trouble, and with the second-biggest game in franchise history fast approaching, I think most Jets fans wish the NFL Shop could show a little less hubris. If Rex Ryan and company can't knock off the Colts on Sunday, I think they know where to place the blame.

I guess what we can assume from this is the Colts and Saints will probably be facing off in Miami on Feb. 7th.