Back In The New York Groove

If you've ever been to a Giants game in New York, you've come to notice that after every touchdown they play the lesser known KISS classic "Back in the New York Groove". If you're Jeff Goldberg, and you just spent a handsome portion of your paycheck to see the Giants score 31 points against the Panthers, you get awfully sick of hearing "Back in the New York Groove". I was glad to see that the Giants brought this tradition over to their new stadium, which they opened yesterday with a big 31-18 win over Carolina that was typical mediocre Giant Football for the first 30 minutes and a dominant offensive and defensive performance in the second half that has Big Blue 1-0 on the young season.

If the traditions of the old stadium feel like they're making it into the new one that's probably because the old Stadium didn't a feel a whole lot different from the new one. As I got off the NJ Transit train to walk towards my team's new home, I noticed a Mrs. Fields cookie stand that was outside the new building and deduced that that must be what $1.6 billion gets you. Sure there are some obvious, noticeable differences. For one, the extend is covered with steel rods, which give it a slick and futuristic feel. As well, it better enables the stadium to project a blue or green presence depending on who is at home that day. To boot, the grounds on the outside seem much smoother, and neater.

The interior no longer has blue and red seats, which made it feel like the Giants home, but when one considers that the Jets footed half the bill for the stadium, that probably makes sense. The inside is not a combination of charcoals and grays that make it seem almost astonishingly neutral. In my mind that robs the building of some of the character that the old one had. Then again, the old one probably didn't make a whole lot of sense if you were a Jets fan.

Beyond those key characteristics, aside from looking neater, there isn't a whole lot else about the building that sparks any interest unless you happen to be holding one of the outrageously expensive club seat tickets. Of course, those seats do provide some advantages -- particularly if you managed to spend an ungodly amount of money on the seats that allow you to literally stand on the sidelines some 46 feet away from the field. How these people are seeing beyond the legions of players, coaches and team employees that stand between them and the actual playing surface is a mystery to me, but the other exciting and noticeable addition to the new building is that even if you don't get to see the play live, you'll have no problem catching a replay. Fortunately, this isn't because the Giants and Jets decided to add a new gigantic video screen that can hang over the middle of the field and interfere with play like some foolish teams.

No, instead the New Meadowlands Stadium features four video screens in each corner of the stadium, which may not seem too big from your seat, but if your seat happens to be right next to one you realize that they're fucking massive.

So all in all, the new home is nice, if not completely necessary, but despite the expensive Personal Seat Licenses -- as a Season Ticket Waiting List member I was offered a pair of seats that only would have run me $23,000 in the first season -- the new building was put together with private funds, so it's hard to criticize the organizations for charging an arm and a leg when tax-payer money didn't factor into stadium's construction.

Also, and perhaps most importantly, the Giants, you know, "won". I'm not one of those silly people who thinks Big Blue got revenge on Carolina for beating them in the finale of Giants Stadium. That kind of logic is silly, the king of those situations being when the Mets swept the Cardinals in the opening series of 2007, "avenging" a loss in the 2006 NLCS.

Uh, I'd rather have won the World Series.

It's a new season, a win is a win and there's no better way to start off the season for the Giants than a solid victory of a Panthers team that may or may not prove itself worthy of the playoff hunt. Now because it's a new season it is, obviously, too early to get too excited, but starting off with a victory is as good as can be hoped for, particularly in your new house. And particularly when a much more challenging foe awaits in week two in Indianapolis.

That opponent got a little more tough to face when the Colts lost their season opener to the Texans yesterday. One week's game doesn't necessarily have any bearing on the next's, but I simply can't see a team as loaded as the Colts losing its first two games of the season. After all, this is a team that won every game it tried to win last season with the exception the Super Bowl, and it's not as if they laid a dud. Peyton Manning was still his classic self with 433 yards and three touchdowns. Were it not for a monster day by Arian Foster, Indy probably would be 1-0. As it stands, the loss may leave them tough to beat in their home opener next week against Big Blue, a game which I will rather excitedly be attending at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis.

Even if the Giants lose, they got a small bit of help in the division this week to give them some early breathing room. Despite letting Mike Vick put on a show in the second half in place of the injured Kevin Kolb, Green Bay dealt the Eagles a nifty loss that may have brought a little bit of a sully to those totally sweet 1960 NFL Champion throwback unis the Iggles had on. Personally, I would have preferred the Vince Papale/Ron Jaworski Super Bowl XV duds, but these weren't too shabby. Either way, the Eagles are 0-1, which really can't hurt.

Even with those outfits they still managed to lose the competition for most exciting uniform development in the NFC East yesterday, when the Redskins took the field for their surprising win over the adorably dysfunctional Dallas Cowboys. For the past several seasons the Redskins have been pairing their maroon jerseys with white pants, which is a tasteful if unprovocative combination. In recent years, the Skins have taken to wearing their white jerseys at home with maroon pants for the single reason of forcing Dallas out of its comfort zone and into its seldom used navy uniforms. But by and large the pant color has remained the same.

Until last night. Last night Washington changed the game, making their unis infinitely more impressive by breaking out the golden pants. These pants are truly stunning. Not only do they make a more striking visual or create a link to their past, but they're just all sorts of totally awesome. Aside from being way cooler than the all-white or all-maroon combinations Washington has trotted out in the past, they bring up reminders of the totally awesome throwbacks that Washington has trotted out in the past decade. Last night's fashion almost made me think I was watching Super Bowl VII. You know, if they were playing the Cowboys and the footage was grainy.

The pants were so awesome that I was completely distracted from the fact that yesterday I found out one of my favorite teams of all time had released an absolutely horrifying video. It also made me almost forget that I, you know, hate the Redskins. Therein lies the rub. I enjoyed the uniform changes made by the Eagles and Skins yesterday, but the sight of both teams makes my blood boil. I take some solace though. With the Eagles losing, and the Redskins, whom I don't expect to be competitive over the long run, beating the Cowboys, whom I do, yesterday worked out pretty much as well as it could have. Even if I don't think next week will.

But you never know. That's why they play the games. And as it stands, I'm kind of irked I don't get to see the Giants play again for seven more days. But at least I'll knock a new stadium out of the way when I do.

NFL Picks Week 1: Justifying Ineptitude With An Elementary Gambling Lesson

Happy first day of football season everyone! Yes, tonight is the big night the Vikings and Saints kickoff the 2010 NFL campaign with a rematch of last year's NFC Championship and I, for one, could not be any more excited. For those of you who used to read my old, horrendous Xanga from about six years ago, you know that I have an awful tendency to show how inept I am at predicting football games by making NFL picks every week and then tabulating my record for the course of the season.

This is a terrible idea.

Vegas, you see, sets the lines. And Vegas is awfully good at splitting the action. People often misunderstand the concept behind a Vegas betting line and assume that when the Giants are favored over the Panthers by, say, seven points, which they are this week, that it is an assumption that the Giants are a touchdown better than Carolina and should win by that amount. But in actuality that's not the case. The purpose of a betting line isn't to provide a more-than-likely prediction for the end result of each of Sunday's games. The point is to split the action.

Vegas isn't trying to give you an indication of how much better one team is than the other with any certainty. They're trying to create a situation in which half of the population believes Team A will win by X or more points and the other half of the population believes it will win by X or fewer points. So, really, the Giants aren't likely to win by seven points or more on Sunday. Half of the population just thinks they will.

Of course, half of the population thinks they won't. So, really, it's a 50/50 shot either way, which means that picking any game, with any certainty, at least at the pro-level, is more or less a coin flip.

Now of course there are betting strategies that enable you a better than 50% chance at making money, and various parlays that can help you reap a profit on a more likely scenario than a standard betting line, but for those of us who can't be bothered to really investigate betting with any real intensity or who simply don't care enough to do so, like myself, it is really, really, really unlikely that you're going to do better than 50% over the course of 256 regular season games by any margin that is statistically significant.

And yet, I still make these picks every week, just to open myself to unnecessary criticism. With tendencies like that, it's a wonder I haven't decided to get into politics yet.

So, now that I've prepared you for the explanation of why I'm inevitably going to be wrong nearly half the time this season, I think it's time to talk about all the big games this week, particularly the biggest footy match of them all, the semifinal between Geelong and Fremantle that bounces tomorrow morning at 5:30 ET. After last week's gut-wrenching loss to St. Kilda, the Cats face a win-or-go-home matchup with the upstart Dockers that could send them home or send them one step from another Grand Final appearance.

After a shoddy performance last week, much of the hope lies with young Joel Selwood, who wears the best number in the world, coming back into form and hopefully putting the Cats back on track for a potential showdown with Collingwood next weekend. It hasn't helped that coach Mark Thompson has had to fend off speculation all week that he'll leave Geelong for his old stomping grounds of Essendon, but after an emphatic "No" this week, hopefully that has been put to rest ahead of the biggest match of the year.

Still with me? Probably not. If you are, however, tune into ESPN3.com tomorrow morning when you wake up to watch some breakneck footy.

And now time for my NFL picks -- that is to say, the football you actually care about. Lines are accurate according to ESPN.com as of Thursday morning.

Last Week: 0-0-0
Season: 0-0-0

NEW ORLEANS (-6) over Minnesota
NY GIANTS (-7) over Carolina
Miami (-3) over BUFFALO
Detroit (+3.5) over CHICAGO
TENNESSEE (-6.5) over Oakland
NEW ENGLAND (-4.5) over Cincinnati
Atlanta (+2.5) over PITTSBURGH
TAMPA BAY (-3) over Cleveland **
JACKSONVILLE (-3) over Denver
Indianapolis (-2.5) over HOUSTON
Arizona (-4) over ST. LOUIS
Green Bay (+3.5) over PHILADELPHIA
San Francisco (+3) over SEATTLE
Dallas (-3.5) over WASHINGTON
NY JETS (-2.5) over Baltimore
SAN DIEGO (-5) over Kansas City

**If it were possible for both teams to lose against the spread, that would be my pick.

And there you have it, kids. My almost certain to be completely right in every way predictions for Week 1 of the NFL season. Get ready for the excitement. Kickoff is just nine and a half hours away.

Reason No. 841 That The NFL Is Superior to College Football

Don't get me wrong. I love college football. Seriously -- I can't get enough of it. As a child growing up I was somewhat ambivalent towards what I considered an inferior brand of gridiron, though I did fancy myself a Florida State fan after watching the 'Noles take a National Championship by topping Nebraska in the 1994 Orange Bowl. But it wasn't until I went to Northwestern and was fully immersed in the weekly craziness of the Big Ten that I truly fell for college football as an institution.

However, the NFL, beyond it's generally superior level of play and far more rational means of determining a champion, would never allow what you see to the right to happen.

I'm no big fashion enthusiast, but a good friend of mine once explained that sometimes you have to push the limits of acceptable fashion so that more subtly progressive advances in style seem less dramatic and thus more acceptable to mainstream society. But they never dreamed up the horrific duds Nike forced the Broncos and Hokies to trot out last night in what was otherwise a phenomenal game with wide-ranging National Championship implications. The only thing more disturbing than these uniforms simply existing is that it's almost impossible to pinpoint what, exactly, is the worst aspect of them.

Do we start with the random dark gray patches on Boise State's jerseys that were inexplicably placed in the worst possible location for an overweight offensive lineman? Why not bring up the peculiar circuit-board designs that made Virginia Tech's jersey numbers look like costumes from the movie Tron? Should I opine on the bizarre grayscaled Boise State logo that appears on only one sleeve and one hip? Or the fact that only one of the sleeves on the Boise State jersey is blue? Or the awkward "B" on the left knee of the Boise State pants?

Compared to all of that, Virginia Tech's shoulder-striping pattern looks downright normal, and I thought I had seen the worst of it with TCU's ridiculously busy outfits this weekend.

The most progressive change in NFL uniforms at any point in the last 20 years or so has been the dramatic changes wrought by the Denver Broncos in 1998. From the typical orange jerseys and blue helmets that they had worn for decades, the Broncos stoked a huge amount of aesthetic debate when they debuted their current dark blue unis and helmets. The dramatic change here came in the orange stripe emanating from the collar, which completely broke the mold of traditional NFL fashion sense.

Of course, it did pay off immediate dividends. Arguably.

Those changes are now considered relatively acceptable, and they're completely tame compared to what Nike is now trotting out for specialty nationally televised games these days -- though it should be noted that Denver's newest version of the logo is, uh, questionable at best. One can only hope that Boise State and Virginia Tech, after putting on a tremendous show last night, opt to keep those jerseys in the closet -- even if Boise State's helmets were kind of cool. At least Northwestern's new uniforms are subtle and tasteful so I don't have to be ashamed as an alum.

Northwestern which is 1-0 on the season, I might add.

In any event, I bring all this up because this is where my mind rambles to when it's that first glorious week of college football, you spend Saturday consuming every moment you can and then prepare for the traditional follow up of the pro game on Sunday -- and there isn't one.

Curse this first, teasing week of college football.

Fortunately, I only have to wait five more days to watch my New York Giants -- in person -- as they open up their new home against the Carolina Panthers to start the NFL season, thus bringing the best time of the year -- fall weekends -- into full swing.

And I can assure you they'll be wearing uniforms far more palatable than what we saw last night.

Some Vague Updates

I don't have much to tell you all about today. Well, I could post another story, but I figure I'll give it a few days before I do that.

Meanwhilst, I figured I'd post a preview I wrote that's online today. I'm pretty sure it's not one of my better ones, but I can handle that for now. Go nuts.

Also, I appreciate the large swath of invitations I've suddenly gotten from people to go see their favorite teams in different places. The couches, I assure you, are greatly appreciated. One of these people, Jeff Goldberg, is determined to, at some point, pull me in for a trip to see his Carolina Panthers. We'll get there when the schedule works out, and speaking of schedules, Jeff happens to have turned me on to this site, which will be dramatically helpful for future planning, assuming the NFL continues it's schedule on the same rotation that it has been doing for the past eight years.

Given that there has been no expansion or realignment, this would seem a safe assumption.

I'm sure there are a slew of these around the web, but if I'm going to base most of this on following the Giants around, this could be extremely useful for knocking out the 20-some NFL teams I've got remaining...