Ok, So I've Had Better First Weekends Than That

I'm guessing when I said last week that this was by far the least research I had ever done before filling out my NCAA bracket that I must not have been lying. The first four days of the Tournament this year were outlandishly exciting, but also, uh, not what I predicted. On the first day alone I lost three teams from my sweet sixteen, one from my Elite Eight and wound up a mediocre 9-7. While that didn't inspire much confidence, at least my Final Four was still intact.

You know, until the second round, when my National Champion spit the bit against Butler on an utterly bizarre series of fouls in the games final seconds. But that's cool -- it's only the second year in a row that my eventual champion was sent packing in the round of 32.

Now don't get me wrong. Butler, obviously, has some experience, so I suppose in general, it's not really that crazy for them to be making another deep run in the NCAAs, but I have to be honest. I thought I'd do a wee bit better than this At this point my bracket is so shot that I have nothing to watch for except pure love of the game, which, really, is utterly silly.

Then again I'm still alive in my survivor pool, so at least there's that.

Of course, that I'm watching basketball at all after Northwestern's utterly bizarre loss in the NIT quarterfinals last night/this morning at Washington State, might just be a testament to my own intestinal fortitude. This was a game that featured a shockingly intense student crowd for an NIT game, the Wildcats doing something they've done maybe once in my life ever by rallying from a double-digit deficit to take a lead in the second half on the road, a potential walk-off foul after a game-tying goal tend in the final ten seconds and then someone missing both of those potential walk-off free throws which prompted this statement from me.

I then realized that if God was a Wildcat, Northwestern would have been to the NCAA Tournament once in the past seven and a half decades, making my statement patently ridiculous.

The Cats would go on to lose in an equally as bizarre overtime that nearly saw them get the ball back down 1 with 20 seconds left simply because the Washington State player lost his handle on the ball, before Alex Marcotullio missed not one but two three-pointers to tie the game at the final buzzer to end what is -- I'm not making this up -- the deepest postseason run Northwestern has ever had.

Seriously, why do I watch college basketball anymore? Or at least why Northwestern?

Oh, and the winning team had a player who had been suspended and had his suspension lifted within 12 hours.

Fun times.

So that's how college basketball has treated me in the past week, but fortunately I get the distraction of Aussie Rules Football finally being back this season after Carlton topped Richmond by 20 points this morning. Of course the season doesn't really start until Geelong has its first bounce tomorrow morning against St. Kilda, which I'm sure you're all waking up at 4:30 a.m. for.

Ok, I can sense that I'm losing all of you at this point. Perhaps it's time to go. Hopefully this weekend's basketball goes better than last.

Holy Crap Capitals Games Are Expensive

Like shockingly so. For a franchise that has all of one Stanley Cup Final appearance in four decades, no championships and really very little historic greatness to speak of, it is amazing how much they can charge for a marquee game at the Verizon Center.

Then again, I guess they do have this guy.

I found this much out this week as I painstakingly monitored eBay auctions and kept a watch on Stubhub to guarantee that I might actually get to sit somewhere in the crowd for this Sunday's Blackhawks-Capitals game, a game I had pegged since past summer as my preferred visit at long last to see the Caps play hockey. I was hoping I might be able to swindle the ducats through work, but when that avenue dried up I had to resort to the secondary market to find that the Capitals, last year's Presidents' Trophy winners, have instituted a tiered pricing system for this season to get more money out of the more desirable matchups.

I don't really have a problem with this. After all, the Mets and just about every other Major League Baseball team has the same system, but for some reason it didn't occur to me that a game against the defending Stanley Cup Champions, which could very well serve as a preview of this spring's Stanley Cup Final would be one of those pricier games.

And boy howdy is it pricey.

I had anticipated that a markup would cause me to part with somewhere between $40-50 for a spot in the upper deck, but after looking at eBay auctions aplenty, I found that this would be nearly impossible and that face value for upper deck seats for this particular game -- behind the goal -- is $95. That's almost $100 to watch from the nosebleeds for a regular season game. Egads.

Now granted, I understand the magnitude of this Sunday's matchup. Both teams are suddenly on incredibly hot tears and happen to have some fo the best young players in the World, one who is younger than me and has already captained a Stanley Cup champion, and another who is younger than me, might be the best player on the planet and appears to have way more fun than I do.

That said, I really didn't want to pay $95 for a ticket, and it took some emotional convincing to finally find tickets that, while overpriced to start with, were still somewhat reasonable considering. In the end last night I purchased a pair of seats in section 407 for a total of $147.50, which, working out to $73.75 each, is technically lower than face value even if it is outrageous. Of course, there were some sticky issues with this. First of all, they're print out e-tickets, and for purposes of building up my personal collection of entertaining ticket stubs, I loathe e-tickets when it's my first time seeing a team.

I managed to convince the original ticket owner to mail me his hard tickets afterward so that I can keep them as a souvenir, so on that front all is well. But because this person obviously had season tickets they aren't victim to ills of tiered pricing which means they pay a flat average rate for each game over the course of the year, and that rate happens to be far lower than face value for this game if you bought it individually, and that rate -- which is a mere $29 -- happens to be plastered in the top left corner of my printed out e-tickets. This begs the question on how I can justify asking a friend to pay me back for all or even part of their ticket when it was more than twice what is listed on the ticket itself.

Conundrums abound.But it could be worse. After all, I still get to see this guy for the first time.



Of course, while I will be seeing two of the hotter teams in the League this Sunday for Team No. 39, I won't be seeing the hottest team, which of course remains the New Jersey Devils who are humming along after cutting down the current deficit to 8 points with 17 games remaining after a 20-2-2 stretch in their last 24 games. The miracle run is still alive, although some jerk is spreading doom and gloom about the Devils' legitimate postseason prospects, but lately talk has sprung up from some experts that New Jersey is not just a possible playoff participant, but a certain one. Even if the Devils don't make the impossible possible, some are saying, in my mind legitimately, that Jacques Lemaire should still be considered for coach of the year.

My guess is that unless New Jersey makes the playoffs, the award will go to Tampa Bay's Guy Boucher, but in any event, watching the Devils right now is a lot of fun -- something it hasn't been for a while.

Finally, and in news that none of you will care about other than me, something else that I haven't been able to watch for a while, Aussie Rules Football, is just over two weeks away from starting its season, and after finding this picture on the twitters yesterday, I'm hopeful there might be a new fan. Yes, that's President Obama and Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard testing out their best handballs with an authentic footy, known by many fans as a "Sherrin" in the oval office during a state visit by the Aussie head of state. Gillard, as I've mentioned before, apparently has quite the knack for prognostication when it comes to footy, and rumor has it she's an enormous Western Bulldogs supporter. During the visit she gave Obama a cultural education that, according to Barry, nearly cost the U.S. goverment a bust of Abe Lincoln.

Surely that's a joke, just like the price I paid for my tickets for this weekend. But either way, it should be a good visit, if for no other reason than to scratch a team off the list. And apparently it'll be a good visit for the Blackhawks even if they don't wind up coming away from the Verizon Center with two points Sunday. They may not have a Sherrin, but they have a big silver bowl. As a result, they get a day with the President, too.

Oh, Hey. Pitchers and Catchers Reported This Week

I'm not sure if you noticed, but the earliest parts of baseball season are upon us, meaning pitchers and catchers reported this week. Now, in years past this news was unbelievably exciting, to the point that I would make sure the entire world knew all about it. Of course that remnant of my college years there came in 2007, four months after the Mets had been tantalizingly close to a World Series berth and seemed primed to challenge for another one. This season is another matter. Pitchers and catchers reported this week and I was, well, kind of ambivalent.

And how did that happen, you ask?

Well, despite all seeds of optimism -- such as the realization that the Mets actually have a pretty decent roster if they stay healthy -- most people agree this could be an awfully long season in New York, and that apparently extends to players who haven't even been on the roster for 20 years. Then again, unlike the players on the current team, Tim Teufel actually won a World Series. Regardless of the misfortune affecting Mr. Teufel, I am almost overwhelmed by how not overwhelmed I am by the Mets this season. This is the first time in at least a decade that pitchers and catchers have reported and I've been almost ambivalent about it in every sense.

Don't get me wrong. I will still be watching baseball enthusiastically all season long, and I am currently planning a trek to the southwest to see the Mets visit Arizona and San Diego in August -- remarkable considering they're likely to be well out of the race by then -- but something about this season just doesn't excite me like it has in seasons past. We'll see if a few spring training games actually get me back into the swing of baseball fandom.

In the meantime, at least there's one team that's giving me a reason to get excited about the next few months.

This one.



I'm not entirely sure how the Devils have suddenly turned on the switch, and as I said last week, the excitement cause by New Jersey's current run is likely too little too late, but that doesn't make it any less fun; particularly if they can knock off the currently eighth-seeded Hurricanes in Carolina tonight and trim that postseason deficit to 10 points with 23 games to go. As I've said before, if that happens, I'll actually throw my support behind this foolish run. A run that, if you hadn't paid close enough attention, has now given the Devils a 14-1-2 record in their last 17 games.

And if you are as excited about the Devils right now as I am, surely you just can't get enough hockey, and if that's the case you must be totally pumped up for the inaugural Hockey Day in America tomorrow -- a day to celebrate America's deep-running love of hockey.

Yes, that exists, oh naysayers. Just because you don't care doesn't mean millions don't. In any event, there is nine hours of hockey coverage on NBC and Versus tomorrow, including NBC's first ever NHL doubleheader, but you probably knew that since you read that totally great article about NBC's coverage on NHL.com earlier this week. You always keep up with your NHL news, just like how you were looking for hourly updates on Dustin Byfuglien's contract extension late Tuesday night or Steve Yzerman's thoughts on facing the Red Wings for the first time in a professional capacity.

Regardless of the fact that none of you reading this actually probably care about any of those topics, Hockey Day in America should be fun, if not busy for me at the office. All four games NBC is showing should be pretty decent matchups and the whole day is capped off with the Heritage Classic in Calgary, which, like all outdoor games, will be a lot of fun.

Lastly, if the Devils impending hot run that winds up just short isn't enough to excite me (WARNING: DAVE IS ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT AUSSIE RULES FOOTBALL) Geelong's 2011 campaign down under is about a month from getting underway, and its opening match in the preseason NAB Cup bounces tomorrow afternoon. Yes, I know what what you're thinking. "How are the Cats going to compete to their typical standards with Gary Ablett Jr., the best and fairest in the game, taking his talents to the brand new Gold Coast Suns?" Yes, those are valid concerns. But remember, this is still a rich, deep, and young roster, with strange talents like Corey Enright, Steve Johnson, Tom Hawkins and my personal favorite, Joel Selwood. Don't forget the experienced leadership of Cameron Ling, Brad Ottens, Cameron Mooney and Darren Milburn. Geelong, which was one win away from a fourth consecutive Grand Final appearance this past season, will still have the talent to be in the mix.

Heightening this excitement? AFANA just announced this season's impending schedule for broadcasted games on ESPN3.com, because unfortunately that's really the only way to see any footy these days. And the best part about this schedule is that of the 22 matches Geelong will play in the home and away season, 11 of them will be streamed live on ESPN3.com. Best of all? The one announced live match to be broadcast on ESPN2 this season is Geelong facing off with Port Adelaide on Sunday morning at 12 a.m. on April 10 in a rematch of the 2007 Grand Final, Geelong's first Premiership in 44 years.

Aren't you excited, too? No? Well, don't worry about footy then. Or hockey.

Did you hear pitchers and catchers reported this week?

NFL Picks Week Seven: In Which I Tell You About Buffalo

Yes, some of you might have noticed that I didn't write anything at all this week. One of you, in fact, demanded to know why I hadn't said anything about the Giants' impressive 3-1 (now 3-2) series lead over the Phillies. Come to think of it, that person may be the only one who reads this with any regularity. Either way, fear not, because I have a justified reason for being so damn lazy with updating this little-trafficked writing space.

And that is because of the beautiful city of Buffalo, which you see to your right. The Queen City is a remarkable place in just about every way and if you have a chance to visit, well, the food is pretty good.

The beer, too.

Either way, I was unable to write and entertain you all because I was on a business trip up to the shores of Lake Erie in Western New York where I got to see the 2010 U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame Inductions. And if you didn't know that, you clearly weren't talking to me at all this week. Or at least you weren't having me foist my stories in your face the entire time. Either is possible.

I won't begrudge you for not having read them, but know that you missed out on brilliance.

In any event, I'm back now, and fear not, I have, in fact been paying attention to those wild and crazy stories of the day, namely the fact that if the San Francisco Giants can win one more game I will officially be able to watch the World Series this year, but also the very interesting debate going on over the new rules the NFL has levied regarding dangerous hits and tackles.

I have my own ideas regarding a fairly unorthodox solution, which would be to decrease the effectiveness of pads. Why? Because if you don't feel like your body is covered in armor, you won't use it as a missile. Aussie Rules Football and Rugby are fraught with tons of tackling with almost no padding whatsoever. And that's because it's tackling, not body launching. Players are taught proper form where they square up and wrap an opposing player before taking him to the ground because they have to defend themselves as well as their opponent from injury. American football has grown into a game where this is considered unnecessary by men who feel so protected by their equipment that they assume an air of invincibility.

Now, that said, do I really think the NFL should decrease the protectiveness of its equipment? No, of course not. I think the NFL should accept that its a violent game they make their bread with, that split-second defensive reactions will inevitably lead to injuries and that simply fining a player won't undo years of ingrained psychological training to value toughness and intensity above personal safety.

Punishing the players financially, is not the answer, and the fact that these dangers are an inherent risk of the game is simply evidence that an 18-game schedule is a foolish idea.

The 16-game schedule works out just fine, however. And we've got plenty of those 16 games to talk about this weekend, so let's get on with it.

Last Week: 5-8-1
Season: 41-44-5

ATLANTA (-4) over Cincinnati
Washington (+3) over CHICAGO
TENNESSEE (-3) over Philadelphia
Jacksonville (+10) over KANSAS CITY
Pittsburgh (-3) over MIAMI
NEW ORLEANS (-14) over Cleveland
St. Louis (+3) over TAMPA BAY
San Francisco (-3) over CAROLINA
BALTIMORE (-14) over Buffalo
SEATTLE (-7) over Arizona
DENVER  (-9) over Oakland
SAN DIEGO (-3) over New England
GREEN BAY (-3) over Minnesota
NY Giants (+4) over DALLAS

Those are your ironclad locks, people. Enjoy the weekend.

I'm Forcing Myself To See Parallels

Think back, if you can, into the past. To the way, way back year of "2007", when men were men, Weeds was having its best season and Twitter was a mystery to most of the world. Specifically think back to October 1, 2007, when a much maligned New York Giants team beat up on the Eagles on Sunday Night Football to the tune of a 16-3 win, the highlight being Osi Umenyiora's team-record six sacks as the G-Men piled up 12 in total. The game brought the Giants to 2-2. That same day, if you recall, a brutally painful Mets season was put to rest as they completed their first of two major collapses on the last day of the regular season. To cheer me up for having now-useless playoff tickets, the Mets sent me an apologetic e-mail promising changes.

And now lets fast-forward to last night. The Mets, once again, had polished off another bitter year early in the day, which prompted yet another apologetic e-mail -- though this one was due to ineptitude rather than heartbreak -- and the Giants, were set to face the Bears on Sunday Night Football. These same Giants, coming off two straight losses, have been heavily criticized and left for dead with even former players claiming Tom Coughlin doesn't have his house in order. The result? Another sack-crazy win, as the Giants whupped on the Bears, 17-3, with 10 sacks and two knocked-out Chicago quarterbacks. The defense was almost dominant enough to distract you from the fact that both offenses were completely discombobulated and that it was, possibly, the worst played football game ever played by two teams in the NFL.

And now the Giants are 2-2.

If you recall, in 2007 the Giants did fairly well after that victory, jumping up to 6-2 before, you know, winning the fucking Super Bowl. If you put the pieces together, these very, very vague bits of circumstantial point to one piece of irrefutable truth.

The New York Giants are going to win the Super Bowl this year. Juuuuuust wait for it.

So yeah, I'm also back from Minnesota, which was a pretty sweet experience. I had never really spent much time in downtown Minneapolis, but I found it to be a very pretty, if unexciting area. I don't really blame it for this. The downtown area is mostly for business and not for fun, after all. But it does feature a totally sweet statue of Mary Tyler Moore. Because yes, she did make it after all. Shockingly, however, having my world turned on with her smile wasn't the highlight of the jaunt. That, obviously, was the hour or so I spent meticulously scoping out the awesomeness that is Target Field. That stadium was just one of many that I decided to waste hours checking out during the weekend, but it was almost certainly my favorite. It's an interesting break with the popular retro stadium architecture, giving a design that is modern and yet also totally fucking awesome. It also manages to pull off a feat only matched so far by the San Francisco Giants at AT&T Park in that the entire place is completely infused with franchise history in an amazing way. The pavilion in front of the main center field gate includes goodies like a list of franchise Gold Glove Winners, a pennant for each member of the Twins Hall of Fame, a pennant for each season's outcome and some totally awesome statues of Calvin Griffith, Kirby Puckett, Rod Carew and Harmon Killebrew.

A full report on Target Field and the weekend in general will come.... at some point. But it's worth mentioning that my trek also brought me to the extremely dull looking Metrodome, and the totally sweet stadiums on the campus of the University of Minnesota -- in particular TCF Bank Stadium, which is absurdly awesome. That stadium was, of course, the main reason that I chose this weekend to make my trek, as I got to watch the Northwestern Wildcats give me an aneurysm en route to a 29-28 win over the Golden Gophers. It's unusual to see such a new college football stadium built on such a scale in that traditional retro-brick style. And even if the University of Minnesota is terrible at football this year -- though they certainly gave us a scare -- at the very least they get to go to what is easily the best college football stadium I've seen. It just squeaks past Camp Randall in Madison, Wisconsin and Kinnick Stadium in Iowa City.

More than anything, going to the game -- and checking out the greatest anti-drinking campaign ever -- made me wish I was back in college. Because who wouldn't want that?

All of Minnesota's stadiums are particularly pretty, and they're all in the same complex, which goes to highlight one of the more underrated college campuses I've come across. The basketball stadium, Williams Arena, A.K.A. The Barn, which happens to be my favorite building in American sports, sits right across from TCF Bank Stadium, and Mariucci Arena, home to Gopher hockey is in a similar style right next door. All of the stadiums are wonderful buildings to check out, and at the very least, they help you forget about the fact that you stayed up until 2 a.m. watching a total dud of a Grand Final replay.

And surely all of you have those problems, right? Yeah, just what I thought.

So there you go. There's more information to tell and at some point I'll write up a more formal review, but in the interim I'll leave you with that. If you ever have the chance to see a game at the University of Minnesota, take it.

And if you can get good odds on the Giants winning Super Bowl XLV, throw your life savings at it. It's money in the bank, right there.

Apparently, Donovan McNabb Grew Up In Australia

Some might consider it unfair that I spend so much time making fun of Donovan McNabb. Not because he's a bad quarterback. He's not. In fact, he might just be a great quarterback and I was overjoyed to see that the Eagles traded him this offseason until I realized he would still be in the NFC East with the Redskins. No, his on-field skills are not to be argued. My mockery has come from an amusing incident two years ago when, after the Eagles tied the Bengals, McNabb admitted in a postgame press conference that he had no idea there were ties in the NFL.

This is, of course, patently ridiculous, but what you might not have known, and that McNabb perhaps did, is that not only are there ties in Aussie Rules Football, but they are, apparently, pretty pervasive. As McNabb opined, "I'd hate to see what happens in a Super Bowl ... if they settle with a tie." This was met with quite a bit of criticism because a) you should know the rules in the NFL if you're a perennial Pro Bowl quarterback and b) it is ludicrous to end the Super Bowl in a tie.

But that's not the rule down under. As I've mentioned more than once, over the last few years I have developed a big fandom for Aussie Rules over the past two years, and Friday night was the sport's big day, as Collingwood and St. Kilda met for the 2010 Grand Final. Bizarrely, and to protect how "unique" the championship game is, AFL rules actually stipulate that should the Grand Final end in a tie after regulation is finished, it will be ruled a draw and an entirely second Grand Final will be replayed a week later.

Leading up to Saturday morning's title game, only two Grand Finals had ever ended in a draw -- once in 1948 and once in 1977.

Well Saturday morning, AFL fans were treated to a wild championship bout, as St. Kilda rallied from 24 points down at half time leading to a frantic final few minutes. And when the dust settled, a lot of Magpies and Saints were kissing their sisters.

I am a big proponent of not judging a sporting culture I didn't grow up in, which is is why, among other things, I thought it was ridiculous when soccer fans called for the banning of vuvuzelas at this year's World Cup. Still, I can't help but think that this is a wholly bizarre quirk of the Australian sporting culture. The idea of ramping up and playing an entirely second, unplanned championship game replete with pregame entertainment, broadcast rights issues and ticket distribution is just a crazy concept, particularly when the Grand Final, which is played annually at the legendary Melbourne Cricket Ground in front of roughly 100,000 fans, has taken on Super Bowl-esque proportions.



Perhaps the eeriest part of this entire affair is that Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard apparently saw it coming. Gillard, who has struggled in recent weeks to pull together a governing coalition after national elections turned in a hung Parliament, joked at the traditional Grand Final breakfast that the two teams could not return a draw because, "A week without a premiership football team - I'm not sure our nation's strong enough to take it."

After predicting something that unlikely, I'd like to take the Prime Minister with me to Vegas.

In any event, even if Australia isn't tough enough to take it -- because apparently they didn't spend this offseason in Arizona with the Collingwood footy club -- they're going to have to, and if the Grand Final ends in a draw 30 years from now they may have to again. For the time being, the head honchos of the AFL say the Grand Final replay is here to stay. And not everyone seems too happy about it. St. Kilda boss Ross Lyon, who I suppose can still claim a better result than a year ago when the Saints lost to (cough) the Geelong Cats in the Grand Final, said afterwards that he thinks there should simply be extra time tacked on to determine a winner. St. Kilda superstar Nick Riewoldt also thought the notion was peculiar while Collingwood captain Nick Maxwell went a step further, calling a replay an "absolute joke".

At least Geoff Ogilvy appreciated it.

One would think the outcry might prompt a comprehensive review of both the logic, the cost and the embarrassment of having a drawn Grand Final, but I imagine that issue will, for the time being, be tabled and discussed more thoroughly a few months down the line when heads have cooled. But in the interim this is just a strange, strange situation that millions of AFL fans in Australia and whichever ones persist elsewhere around the world will have to deal with. Let it not be forgotten, however, that for some of us there is a silver lining in all of this.

We get to watch more footy before the year is out. In the end, that ain't half bad.

NFL Picks Week Three: In Which I Actually Watch the Giants On TV

Yes, it's true. This weekend is a slight change of pace from my apparently typical tradition of actually going to see the Giants play in person. I should note that prior to this season, that was, in fact, not usual at all. In fact, last season when I saw the Giants at home, in Kansas City and in Washington was a marked change from having simply watched them on TV every week for the past 18 years. The fact that I actually went to the new Meadowlands Stadium to open up this season and flew out to Indianapolis after a disastrous day of airport shenanigans was even more unusual.

And while none of you are probably going to watch what is actually the biggest football game of the weekend, I'm strangely looking forward to watching on the TV since football, really, is better presented that way, and it won't involve the stress of shlepping around public transit and dealing with arcane airport security rules. I am wary however because, as some people may have noticed, this week the Giants play one team that provides them an extremely bizarre kryptonite when they play once every four years.

Oh, the scourge that is the Tennessee Titans.

I ought to mention that I don't really dislike the Titans. I enjoy Jeff Fisher, a solid ground game and tough, physical defense, and those aspects have been a part of the Titans' game plan for more than a decade now. However, the two times the Giants have played the Titans in their current incarnation in the Volunteer State have ended in heart breaking disaster. I remember where I was, what I said and what I was thinking both times the Titans had a scrambling intangibles-full quarterback lead an improbable comeback to dash the best-laid plans of Big Blue.

Don't believe me? Let's take a look at the evidence.

Case one happened on December 1, 2002, when the Giants, gunning to improve their place in the standings ahead of the postseason, carried a 12-point lead early in the fourth quarter, only to see it disappear on a touchdown pass from Steve McNair to Frank Wychek and a game-tying two-point conversion with nine seconds left. Tennessee eventually pulled out a 35-32 victory with a field goal in overtime. Perhaps the only thing more remarkable than the loss is the fact that it wound up not being the biggest gut-punch Giants fans would suffer that season.

Case two, by far the more devastating, happened on November 26, 2006, when the Giants took perhaps the most brutal loss in a 2-6 stretch that some them drop from 6-2 and a Super Bowl contender, to 8-8 and relying on a stunning 200-yard performance by Tiki Barber in the season finale against Washington to earn a wild card berth. Big Blue seemed fully in control until a 21-point lead evaporated with 10 minutes left, as an unnecessary heave by a young Eli was picked off by the pre-lost soul Pac-Man Jones, turning the tide. The climax of all of this, of course, was the two pronged decision of Mathias Kiwanuka to inexplicably let Vince Young go when he had him sacked on fourth down, and Manning's second unnecessary heave that was picked off in the final minute, leading to a game-winning field goal that handed Tennessee a 24-21 win.



Mercy. I can't even begin to imagine what kind of pain is in store this time. In the end I'm hoping It'll be a more positive result, or at least not as disappointing as it was last night when I found out the Giants have a 5,000 square foot museum in the new stadium that was never publicized until after I already plopped down $150 to see them beat up Carolina in the season opener and left without walking around. Of course, at least that situation is, one day, fixable. My other major disappointment this week came when the Twins clinched their division about two weeks earlier than I wanted them to, as I was hoping the White Sox would keep it close enough for me to witness the celebration when I'm at Target Field on Oct. 1.

Biggest non-shock of the week? The Mets were finally eliminated from postseason contention. A stunner.

Enough of my own depression. On with the picks.

Last week: 7-7-2
Season: 13-15-4

NY GIANTS (-3) over Tennessee
San Francisco (-3) over KANSAS CITY
MINNESOTA (-11) over Detroit
NEW ENGLAND (-15) over Buffalo
NEW ORLEANS (-4) over Atlanta
Pittsburgh (-3) over TAMPA BAY
CAROLINA (+4) over Cincinnati
BALTIMORE (-11) over Cleveland
Dallas (+3) over HOUSTON
ST. LOUIS (+4) over Washington
JACKSONVILLE (+3) over Philadelphia
Indianapolis (-6) over DENVER
ARIZONA (-5) over Oakland
San Diego (-6) over SEATTLE
NY Jets (+2) over MIAMI
Green Bay (-3) over CHICAGO

Are you comfortable with all those picks? Because I sure ain't. But it means a whole lot of nothing. The only thing that really matters is getting the chance to watch that Redskins-Rams blockbuster.

Who doesn't want to see those Goliaths?

NFL Picks Week 1: Justifying Ineptitude With An Elementary Gambling Lesson

Happy first day of football season everyone! Yes, tonight is the big night the Vikings and Saints kickoff the 2010 NFL campaign with a rematch of last year's NFC Championship and I, for one, could not be any more excited. For those of you who used to read my old, horrendous Xanga from about six years ago, you know that I have an awful tendency to show how inept I am at predicting football games by making NFL picks every week and then tabulating my record for the course of the season.

This is a terrible idea.

Vegas, you see, sets the lines. And Vegas is awfully good at splitting the action. People often misunderstand the concept behind a Vegas betting line and assume that when the Giants are favored over the Panthers by, say, seven points, which they are this week, that it is an assumption that the Giants are a touchdown better than Carolina and should win by that amount. But in actuality that's not the case. The purpose of a betting line isn't to provide a more-than-likely prediction for the end result of each of Sunday's games. The point is to split the action.

Vegas isn't trying to give you an indication of how much better one team is than the other with any certainty. They're trying to create a situation in which half of the population believes Team A will win by X or more points and the other half of the population believes it will win by X or fewer points. So, really, the Giants aren't likely to win by seven points or more on Sunday. Half of the population just thinks they will.

Of course, half of the population thinks they won't. So, really, it's a 50/50 shot either way, which means that picking any game, with any certainty, at least at the pro-level, is more or less a coin flip.

Now of course there are betting strategies that enable you a better than 50% chance at making money, and various parlays that can help you reap a profit on a more likely scenario than a standard betting line, but for those of us who can't be bothered to really investigate betting with any real intensity or who simply don't care enough to do so, like myself, it is really, really, really unlikely that you're going to do better than 50% over the course of 256 regular season games by any margin that is statistically significant.

And yet, I still make these picks every week, just to open myself to unnecessary criticism. With tendencies like that, it's a wonder I haven't decided to get into politics yet.

So, now that I've prepared you for the explanation of why I'm inevitably going to be wrong nearly half the time this season, I think it's time to talk about all the big games this week, particularly the biggest footy match of them all, the semifinal between Geelong and Fremantle that bounces tomorrow morning at 5:30 ET. After last week's gut-wrenching loss to St. Kilda, the Cats face a win-or-go-home matchup with the upstart Dockers that could send them home or send them one step from another Grand Final appearance.

After a shoddy performance last week, much of the hope lies with young Joel Selwood, who wears the best number in the world, coming back into form and hopefully putting the Cats back on track for a potential showdown with Collingwood next weekend. It hasn't helped that coach Mark Thompson has had to fend off speculation all week that he'll leave Geelong for his old stomping grounds of Essendon, but after an emphatic "No" this week, hopefully that has been put to rest ahead of the biggest match of the year.

Still with me? Probably not. If you are, however, tune into ESPN3.com tomorrow morning when you wake up to watch some breakneck footy.

And now time for my NFL picks -- that is to say, the football you actually care about. Lines are accurate according to ESPN.com as of Thursday morning.

Last Week: 0-0-0
Season: 0-0-0

NEW ORLEANS (-6) over Minnesota
NY GIANTS (-7) over Carolina
Miami (-3) over BUFFALO
Detroit (+3.5) over CHICAGO
TENNESSEE (-6.5) over Oakland
NEW ENGLAND (-4.5) over Cincinnati
Atlanta (+2.5) over PITTSBURGH
TAMPA BAY (-3) over Cleveland **
JACKSONVILLE (-3) over Denver
Indianapolis (-2.5) over HOUSTON
Arizona (-4) over ST. LOUIS
Green Bay (+3.5) over PHILADELPHIA
San Francisco (+3) over SEATTLE
Dallas (-3.5) over WASHINGTON
NY JETS (-2.5) over Baltimore
SAN DIEGO (-5) over Kansas City

**If it were possible for both teams to lose against the spread, that would be my pick.

And there you have it, kids. My almost certain to be completely right in every way predictions for Week 1 of the NFL season. Get ready for the excitement. Kickoff is just nine and a half hours away.

Weekend Sports Roundup

Ok, I'm going to level with you. I had a fairly busy weekend and last night in the semifinals of my office fantasy hockey league I suffered the most painful fantasy sports loss of my life, so.....

Yeah, I don't have a story prepared for you.

I know. I know. You're not sure how you're going to procrastinate at work today, but I'm going to ramble a little and perhaps you'll be able to find some solace that way. Maybe. I have a hunch that won't be the case right away since, for me, the most exciting sports moment of the weekend came when I checked my twitter feed at the Brooklyn Brunch Experiment and found that Southampton FC had won the Johnstone's Paint Trophy.

Some of you might recall from my earlier posts that I follow a soccer team in England called Southampton FC, known as the Saints, the result of a sparsely maintained friendship I formed with a Brit named Scott Pestell eight years ago while working as a summer camp counselor. Since I started following the Saints, after an early brush with Premier League prominence -- the club rose as high as fifth in the table of England's top flight -- it has been a rough period for the team. Southampton has been relegated twice in the past eight years, the results of financial constraints, injuries and being put into administration. The Saints did nearly pull back into the Premier League before losing a play-off match to Derby County on PKs a few years ago, but since then it's been nothing but bad news.

Well, the red and white stripes got some good news on Sunday.

No, the Johnstone's Paint Trophy isn't exactly the U.K. equivalent of winning the Super Bowl. In fact, the Wikipedia page for the tournament says it, "is not considered a priority by many clubs, with some opting to field below-strength teams, particularly in the earlier rounds". But it's still the first piece of hardware for the club in 34 years since its triumph over Manchester United (Surely, you've heard of them at least) in the 1976 F.A. Cup Final.

So, while this may not particularly excite you, it certainly excited me. Following this team through the internet for nearly a decade has only reinforced to me that, well, maybe I didn't make the most fortuitous selection in my European soccer clubs. But perhaps with this accomplishment, a push towards promotion to the Championship League and then finally on to the Premier League might be in the cards.

Ok. The section on sports you don't care about is over now. Just be happy I didn't dedicate several paragraphs to Gary Ablett's public declaration that people need to stop bugging him about a potential move to Gold Coast for the AFL's 2011 season.

Now, if you want to hear about something you've heard of before, this NCAA Basketball Tournament thing is starting to wind down to its final stages. Baylor missed out on a golden opportunity to make this the most peculiar and interesting Final Four I've ever seen when it blew a late lead to Duke last night, and with the Final Four now sitting at Butler, Michigan State, West Virginia and Duke -- raise your hand if you had that one -- well, it looks to me like the Blue Devils have pretty much an open path to a championship after they were gifted the weakest region in the bracket.

What this essentially means is that after one of the greatest tournaments ever, we may very well wind up with Kyle Singler and Mike Krzyzewski cutting down the nets next Monday, and that is a conclusion that will be incredibly unsatisfying to just about everyone. With any hope, the Mountaineers of West Virginia can throw Duke off the pace Saturday night and still give us hope of that West Virginia-Butler National Championship Game we've all been hoping for. The only problem I have with this is that West Virginia coach Bob Huggins is, you know, despicable, but at the very least his alma mater, should it triumph, can probably count on having its name spelled correctly on the t-shirts this time.

Of course, if the other established program still alive, Michigan State, should take the title, it will be slightly more palatable because they wear my favorite color and they're not quite as nationally reviled, but as an alum of another Big Ten school I have difficulty cheering for Sparty. I will say, however, that this may have solidified Tom Izzo's reputation as the best basketball coach of his generation -- at all levels. Yes, Phil Jackson is really, really good, but the best player to come through Michigan State in Izzo's tenure that I can think of is Mateen Cleaves, who, unlike Jackson's charges of Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant or Scottie Pippen, hasn't exactly made the right kinds of headlines lately. And yet, Izzo, who has a National Championship to his credit, is in his second consecutive Final Four and sixth in the last 12 years. Oh yeah, and he's doing it without his best player.

Mighty impressive indeed.

Lastly, I leave you all on a sentimental note. If you've never seen the movie Slap Shot, you might do well to stop everything you're doing and pop it in immediately. The craziness of Paul Newman and the Hanson Brothers as they play for a minor league team known as the Charlestown Chiefs is a classic bit of cinematic fare for not just hockey fans, but comedy fans alike. The film was an homage to the Johnstown Jets of Johnstown, Pennsylvania, which had folded prior to filming, but a new team, named the Chiefs has played there for 20 years after being inspired by the movie. Well, according to ESPN.com, the team, faced with financial troubles yet again, will be moving south.

I've never been to the city, and it always bugs me when some jackass wears a Charlestown Chiefs jersey at NHL games (without fail there is always at least one), but something about this just seems sad to me.

Perhaps I'll mourn the loss by popping it in the DVD player.

18 Hours Until Geelong's First Bounce

I preface this entry with the warning that 99% will probably not care at all about most of what I write about. Don't worry, there's some basketball later. But sometimes you have to do some things for yourself. You know, artistically. So here we go.

Perhaps one of the biggest highlights of my recent jaunt to Israel was a chance encounter with a group of Australian teenagers at our hostel in Jerusalem. No, not that kind of chance encounter. This was a collection of 18-year-old men who hailed from Sydney, and what made the meeting so exciting for me is that it provided a rare opportunity to talk football.

Not this kind of football, or this kind of football. And, uh, certainly not this kind of football.

I'm talking about footy, AFL, Aussie Rules. This kind of football.

I've made mention before of my affection for the Geelong Cats, and I always enjoy the rare chances to talk shop with a native Aussie or any other AFL fan. I'm far from an expert on the game, but in a year or so I've picked up my fair amount of history, and in this case, given that I had just had one of my rare opportunities to use a computer 15 minutes earlier, I actually had the upperhand knowing Western Bulldogs had knocked off St. Kilda in the final of the NAB Cup, a preseason NIT of sorts for the AFL.

Happy to deliver the news we riffed about Gary Ablett and Leo Barry, names that you surely have never heard of before, and both of us compared our own joy over sportsfandom triumphs, in my case Super Bowl XLII, in his Sydney's nail-biting win over West Coast in the 2005 Grand Final, ending a 72-year title drought for the Swannies.


My favorite moment probably came when he asked me if Tom Brady was a huge celebrity in America. I suppose I would have sounded just as silly if I queried about the Australian popularity of Nick Riewoldt.

It wasn't all positive. Sydney has dealt Geelong a heartbreak or two, including one particularly brutal loss in the 2005 Qualifying Final, when the mercurial Nick Davis scored four unanswered goals in the final quarter. But I chose not to bring it up because a) I wasn't watching footy yet when that happened, and b) I was having too much fun just talking footy at all.

I mention this because, as I'm sure you all know, Geelong opens its 2010 campaign tomorrow at the bright and early hour of 4:40 a.m. ET against the Essendon Bombers. Now, surely I would be crazy to wake up early enough to watch this showdown at the Melbourne Cricket Ground, but I never claimed to be sane, and I will be in front of the computer with my navy and white hoops on. If anyone wants to come over to watch the excitement, let me know. There will be beer. And chips.

Surely you're all wondering how you can watch tomorrow. While AFL was dropped from its contract with the premium channel Setanta Sports a year ago, ESPN360.com, or as it will be known next month, ESPN3.com, is showing several live matches every weekend, while ESPN2 will have a few live matches throughout the summer, as well as a live broadcast of the 2010 Grand Final on September 25th.



My Cats are defending champions, as some of you may recall, after topping St. Kilda in a thrilling Grand Final last fall. They're coming off their second premiership in three years and third straight appearance in the AFL's championship match, but there are many issues the team is sorting through as the season begins. For starters, tomorrow's game will be the 200th in the Geelong career of Joel Corey, a man responsible for one of the biggest plays in Geelong history as you can see above. Other topics concern whether or not the young Tom Hawkins is due to break out and become a start, how the team will manage in its first year without captain Tom Harley, who retired this offseason and the always tense saga of whether or not Ablett, last year's Brownlow Medalist and considered by many to be the best in the game, will leave Geelong for a lucrative offer with upstart Gold Coast, which begins play as the AFL's 17th franchise next year. The potential distraction, as well as the aging roster even has some of the Cats players thinking this will be their last chance before the window of opportunity closes to take another title.

So basically, yeah, there's a lot to talk about. Get excited. If you can't be bothered to watch online, your first chance to see footy on ESPN2 comes in 15 weeks when Geelong faces Hawthorn, who no doubt will be looking for revenge after essentially getting knocked out of the playoff race by the Cats a season ago when Geelong overcame a 35-point deficit to knock off the Hawks.

Get excited.

Oh yeah, basketball. That NCAA Tournament thing starts again today, and while I will be watching, I'll mostly be rooting for Cornell to knock off Kentucky, thereby ensuring that none of my Final Four teams make it to the Elite Eight and clinching my worst bracket ever. To be honest, at this point I'm far more interested with seeing if the Nets can win one more game (they defeated the Kings last night) to stave off the sole position as the worst team in NBA history. I feel that if Kentucky does, in fact lose to Cornell today, John Calipari, who ironically never had a team this bad when he coached the Nets, will probably take it with more grace than Nets CEO Brett Yormark.

Say what you will about how mismanaged the Knicks were under Isiah Thomas, and don't get me wrong, they were about as mismanaged as a professional sports franchise can be, but at least Bert and I weren't given no guff when we donned our own paper bags a few years ago. With your team chasing the title of "Not the worst team of all time" perhaps it might be wise to avoid an acrimonious relationship with your fan base. After all, you never know when they'll start protesting that you have a job.

Stay Classy, New Jersey.

The Giants Have Some Fans Down Under

Some of you may have become aware that in the last year I've developed a bizarre interest in Australian Rules Football, with particular affection being reserved for the Geelong Footy Club.

Yeah, I know, it's easy to like the team that's won two of the last three Grand Finals, but I'm willing to bet you, the reader, didn't even have the slightest clue that that's the case.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Aussie Rules or how it works, you probably will still be after watching this video of Geelong winning the 2009 Grand Final in a thriller over St. Kilda, but if not perhaps it'll spell things out. The sport is actually pretty easy to get the gist of and once you've watched it a few times, pretty damn exciting.



I bring this up to all of you because AFL is slowly but surely starting to have a fairly significant impact on American football. Some of you may recall the punter for the Arizona Cardinals is a big Aussie named Ben Graham. But you probably don't know that Graham made his bread for well more than a decade as the captain of Geelong FC. Graham isn't the only one either. This afternoon Dallas' special teams will hang heavily on the performance of former-Aussie Rules Footy player Mat McBriar. Philadelphia's punter, Sav Rocca, used to troll the ground for Collingwood FC and North Melbourne, and his brother Anthony, also a former footballer for Collingwood, is currently training to follow Sav to the NFL.




I find this pretty interesting -- at one point I thought about trying to pitch a story about AFL being a fertile ground for NFL punting prospects to anyone who will take it -- and at some point I plan on making my way to Australia to see a few matches, and in particular to catch the Cats at Skilled Stadium.

Let me know if you're interested.

I bring this up now however, because I came across this article last night on Geelong's website about Graham's journey to a second consecutive Super Bowl being derailed. His appearance last year was major fodder for the Australian press.

As you see, this picture runs with the story of Graham standing with current Geelong Cats Matthew Scarlett, whose off-the-ground soccer to Gary Ablett set up the Cats' championship-winning goal, and Corey Enright. What I find most curious about this picture though, is that while Graham is on the Cardinals, his friends and former teammates are wearing..... which jerseys? That's right. New York Giants jerseys.

I knew there was a reason I liked this team.

That's all for today. Enjoy the football, I'll have a new story up tomorrow.