NFL Picks Week Nine: In Which I Look Toward The Future

It's probably a little too soon to be talking about this already -- the trip isn't for two more weeks -- but the bye week and a flurry of bad news related to my Devils periodically causes the mind to wander. Fortunately, the Giants return to action this weekend against Seattle so I won't have to wander much longer, but I couldn't help but get jazzed upon seeing the photo to the right.

Yeah, you're seeing that right. That's Northwestern's home gridiron painted in the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field in Chicago. For those of you who aren't aware, on November 20 the Wildcats will be leaving their regular home of Ryan Field (nee Dyche Stadium) for the mecca of National League baseball when they take on Illinois. It will be the first college football game played at Wrigley in nearly 72 years and the first football game of any type since the Bears left for Soldier Field in 1971.

The novel setting, the joy of watching my alma mater in person and the excitement of returning to Chicago for the first time in three years all add up to an awfully pleasant distraction from what has been a two weeks in sports ranging from boring to depressing -- though I guess the Knicks' 2-2 start is mild cause for excitement. Beyond the anticipation of the Wrigley game, however, the biggest cause for excitement for me has been Southampton's race back up to the promotion zone of League One, which I'm sure you've all been paying attention to.

Oh, and the Giants won the World Series, which I guess is pretty cool considering it ended one of the more underrated title droughts in baseball history. The best part about it for me, however, was getting an e-mail from a friend in Australia congratulating me when she didn't realize that the San Francisco Giants are not the New York Giants. Really, it's a pretty honest mistake, and considering she was the absolute first person to congratulate me when the Giants actually did win the Super Bowl three years ago, I'd say she's earned a lifetime of sports-centric passes.

But, as I so often do, I'm getting off topic.

I'm going to Chicago and going to Wrigley, and beer, college football, Giordano's stuffed pizza and a whole lot of Northwestern fun await -- not to mention one of the more interesting sporting events I'll have ever been to. What's even more exciting about the whole experience, however, is that after an almost incomprehensible three-year drought in which I didn't see Northwestern in person, I'll be going to my second game this season with a few more on the way in the near future. Surely, you all remember my jaunt out to Minnesota to see the Cats and Gophers at TCF Bank Stadium, but next year and the year after provide even more opportunities.

Northwestern opens its 2011 schedule on Sept. 3, 2011 at Boston College with another visit east to West Point two weeks later. A mid-season trip to Nebraska is also intriguing though obviously far less convenient. A year later, in 2012, the Cats return to Syracuse to take on the Orange in another easily do-able trip.

And so, for several reasons, I look toward the future of college football with incredible zeal -- and because I'm a little too anxious about this weekend's game against Penn State. Pro football should be a little easier to watch this week. I don't want to be arrogant, but as the Giants finally return from the bye they take on a Seahawks team that is apparently without it's starting quarterback and wasn't all that great to begin with.

So I guess I know what one of my picks will be. As if it were going to be any different. And now, once you're done sifting through all the info of that awesome Bruins-Capitals preview you saw, check out the rest of them.

Last week: 7-5-1
Season: 55-56-6

NY Giants (-7) over SEATTLE
Tampa Bay (+9) over ATLANTA
Chicago (-3) over BUFFALO
New England (-5) over CLEVELAND
NY Jets (-5) over DETROIT
MINNESOTA (-8) over Arizona
New Orleans (-7) over CAROLINA
BALTIMORE (-5) over Miami
San Diego (-3) over HOUSTON
Kansas City (+3) over OAKLAND
Indianapolis (+3) over PHILADELPHIA
GREEN BAY (-9) over Dallas
Pittsburgh (-5) over CINCINNATI

Did I really just pick only three home teams? Apparently. We'll see just how crazy I am on Sunday.

NFL Picks Week Eight: In Which I Suffer the Interminable Bye Week

Good lord I hate the bye week. Seriously, it drives me nuts. I know that a week to relax and heal all wounds is a necessity for a team that plays a sport as brutal and physical as American football, but if you're a dedicated soul who spends the first six days of the week anxiously awaiting Sunday, the bye week is like getting a date with the hottest girl in school and being picked up by your parents right before you're about to make out with her.

It's totally lame.

Fortunately, this year I get some vague distraction during the bye week because that whole World Series thing is happening, but since nothing has gone right for any member of the Texas Rangers -- with the possible exception of Bengie Molina -- that may not be lasting much longer. San Francisco has toppled Texas in the first two games with a combination of deciding to actually have an offense and apparently distracting Rangers slugger Josh Hamilton with some particularly unorthodox means. That may not be the best way to throw the recovering drug addict, who claims pot was never really his thing, but he certainly isn't making it up if the local media corroborates his story and it clearly isn't prevented the local establishments from trying to do what they can for the Giants.

Of course, with the Series headed back to Texas for Game 3 on Saturday night, I hardly think the series is over, but a two-game edge with a win over Jesus impersonator Cliff Lee in their back pockets sure makes the Giants look good with five games to go. I suspect the Rangers offense can't be held down for ever, so expect a breakout in Game 3 in Arlington that extends the series into next week, but I can't fathom the Rangers winning four games if it means going through Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain and Jonathan Sanchez twice.

And that should be fine by everyone. After all, the Rangers have started to give us reasons to root against them, and a parade in San Francisco for the Giants would be pretty groovy. Man.

And by the time the World Series is done I'll actually have the New York Football Giants' Nov. 7 showdown with Seattle to look forward to. Everybody wins. And by then maybe the Devils will have started to crawl out of that cozy 2-7-1 hole they've given themselves to start the season. On the downside, the Knicks, who have a winning record for the first time in more than 23 months may have regressed back to the mean by that time, too, but beggars can't be choosers.

They can embarrass themselves with awful football predictions however. and that's where we're headed right now.

Last week: 7-7-0
Season: 48-51-5

Miami (+2) over CINCINNATI
DALLAS (-7) over Jacksonville
DETROIT (-3) over Washington
KANSAS CITY (-8) over Buffalo
ST. LOUIS (-3) over Carolina
NY JETS (-6) over Green Bay
SAN FRANCISCO (even) over Denver
SAN DIEGO (-4) over Tennessee
Seattle (+4) over OAKLAND
Minnesota (+6) over NEW ENGLAND
Tampa Bay (+3) over ARIZONA
NEW ORLEANS (-1) over Pittsburgh
INDIANAPOLIS (-6) over Houston

That's the games, and a special note to all of you watching Sunday night's once-assumed Super Bowl preview in New Orleans, keep an eye out for Kim Partrick and her Guinness World Records partisans who will be tracking what could be the world's largest Halloween party.

Give it a look-see if you aren't on too much of a sugar high Sunday night.

The Curious Case of Bengie Molina

When the always interesting Brian Wilson struck out Ryan Howard looking to end Game 6 of the 2010 NLCS, several noteworthy things were accomplished. Perhaps most importantly, the Philadelphia Phillies were stopped in their hunt for a third consecutive National League pennant, which means that a measure of sanity and justice has been restored to the world, and that I can watch the World Series again without contemplating if I'm a masochist.

All good things.

This will also provide us the chance to see a new and interesting World Series champion, either the Texas Rangers, who were previously one of three franchises -- along with Seattle and Washington -- to never appear in the World Series, or the San Francisco Giants, who have not won a championship in 56 years and not once since moving to San Francisco.

But perhaps most interestingly, this matchup is providing us with the perplexing situation of those always ubiquitous Molina brothers. Bengie and Jose Molina already have World Series rings from their years in Anaheim and Jose's season in New York last year, while Yadier Molina won a title with St. Louis in 2006. Interestingly, the three always tend to wind up with a big hit, or at least as good as a .274, .236 and .268 career light-hitting catcher can, and this time Bengie didn't disappoint, whopping a massive three-run homer in Game 4 of the ALCS that woudl eventually help to topple the mighty Yankees and send the Rangers to their first ever World Series. And perhaps his biggest reward is that he gets to see his old teammates and is guaranteed a Championship ring in what might be his final season.

Wait, what? Doesn't he still have to win four more games to do that? Apparently, the answer is, no, not really.

See, Bengie's Texas teammates will have to scratch and claw their way towards a ring, but for the last three seasons he was helping to groom a young pair of pitchers named Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain while playing behind the plate for San Francisco. And in January, the career defensive wiz ponied up for one more go-around with San Francisco at the bargain rate of $4.5 million. But that Giants bullpen needed some help, so with Buster Posey needing no more seasoning at the minor league level, Bengie Molina was shipped off to Arlington in exchange for reliever Chris Ray and a player to be named later, and the paths of Bengie Molina and the San Francisco Giants were never to cross again.

Right? Right.

Well, that isn't exactly how it turned out, and this most unusual of World Series matchups has now pitted the elder Molina against his old mates, which should add an interesting wrinkle considering that few people are probably more capable of breaking down the strengths and weaknesses of San Francisco's tremendous pitching rotation than the almost defensively legendary Molina.

I don't know about you, but that certainly seems like quite the edge to me. But then again, Lincecum and Cain are pretty nasty when they want to be, so the fact that Texas will still have to, you know, swing the bat, could give the edge back to Gigantes.

Either way, I think this will be a great series because it is two older franchises with relatively little to claim in the way of championships in the past 50 years that happen to be playing extremely well right now. I'm also pretty sure I'm the only person in the city of New York who cares.

But regardless, the most interesting thing to me is Molina, who aside from being, potentially, an extremely valuable X-Factor, also seems to be guaranteed a ring no matter what, considering he was on both of these teams for significant chunks of the season. Molina is only the sixth to turn the trick in baseball history, and the first in 12 years since journeyman reliever Jim Bruske spent parts of 1998 with both the Yankees and Padres -- though not on a World Series roster.

In case you're wondering, the immortal Jack Kramer, Johnny Schmitz, Sid Monge and Lonnie Smith are the other four.

While Molina might have some complex emotional feelings regarding the Series since he is certainly friendly with most of the players in the Giants' locker room, as a professional he'll certainly be trying his best. And frankly, knowing that he essentially can do no wrong doesn't hurt either, though one might think the Giants could be wary of being so friendly to Molina considering their last World Series appearance.

So what do you people think? Molina gets a ring no matter what happens? Fair? Foul? I'm curious as to what the four people who read this think. Lay it on me.

Oh yeah, and let's say, um, Giants in six.

NFL Picks Week Seven: In Which I Tell You About Buffalo

Yes, some of you might have noticed that I didn't write anything at all this week. One of you, in fact, demanded to know why I hadn't said anything about the Giants' impressive 3-1 (now 3-2) series lead over the Phillies. Come to think of it, that person may be the only one who reads this with any regularity. Either way, fear not, because I have a justified reason for being so damn lazy with updating this little-trafficked writing space.

And that is because of the beautiful city of Buffalo, which you see to your right. The Queen City is a remarkable place in just about every way and if you have a chance to visit, well, the food is pretty good.

The beer, too.

Either way, I was unable to write and entertain you all because I was on a business trip up to the shores of Lake Erie in Western New York where I got to see the 2010 U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame Inductions. And if you didn't know that, you clearly weren't talking to me at all this week. Or at least you weren't having me foist my stories in your face the entire time. Either is possible.

I won't begrudge you for not having read them, but know that you missed out on brilliance.

In any event, I'm back now, and fear not, I have, in fact been paying attention to those wild and crazy stories of the day, namely the fact that if the San Francisco Giants can win one more game I will officially be able to watch the World Series this year, but also the very interesting debate going on over the new rules the NFL has levied regarding dangerous hits and tackles.

I have my own ideas regarding a fairly unorthodox solution, which would be to decrease the effectiveness of pads. Why? Because if you don't feel like your body is covered in armor, you won't use it as a missile. Aussie Rules Football and Rugby are fraught with tons of tackling with almost no padding whatsoever. And that's because it's tackling, not body launching. Players are taught proper form where they square up and wrap an opposing player before taking him to the ground because they have to defend themselves as well as their opponent from injury. American football has grown into a game where this is considered unnecessary by men who feel so protected by their equipment that they assume an air of invincibility.

Now, that said, do I really think the NFL should decrease the protectiveness of its equipment? No, of course not. I think the NFL should accept that its a violent game they make their bread with, that split-second defensive reactions will inevitably lead to injuries and that simply fining a player won't undo years of ingrained psychological training to value toughness and intensity above personal safety.

Punishing the players financially, is not the answer, and the fact that these dangers are an inherent risk of the game is simply evidence that an 18-game schedule is a foolish idea.

The 16-game schedule works out just fine, however. And we've got plenty of those 16 games to talk about this weekend, so let's get on with it.

Last Week: 5-8-1
Season: 41-44-5

ATLANTA (-4) over Cincinnati
Washington (+3) over CHICAGO
TENNESSEE (-3) over Philadelphia
Jacksonville (+10) over KANSAS CITY
Pittsburgh (-3) over MIAMI
NEW ORLEANS (-14) over Cleveland
St. Louis (+3) over TAMPA BAY
San Francisco (-3) over CAROLINA
BALTIMORE (-14) over Buffalo
SEATTLE (-7) over Arizona
DENVER  (-9) over Oakland
SAN DIEGO (-3) over New England
GREEN BAY (-3) over Minnesota
NY Giants (+4) over DALLAS

Those are your ironclad locks, people. Enjoy the weekend.

NFL Picks Week Six: In Which I Mostly Talk Hockey

As you've all no-doubt noticed, hockey season is underway, and that means any of you who see me socially will probably seeing a lot less of me because I'll be busy churning out exciting stories like this one. I hope you're able to handle it. One of those days in which I will not be in the office, however, is tonight, and I am celebrating the occasion in the only way I possibly know how.

I'm going to a hockey game.

Yes, it seems like an odd choice, but I do enjoy seeing them in person once in a while, particularly since my Devils actually got off the shnide and won a game on Wednesday. Hopefully that'll be the release that gets the team moving, and I suppose I'll be finding out tonight when I take my mother to see the glory that is the Prudential Center. Tonight's foe will be the Colorado Avalanche, which almost certainly will stir up angry memories in me of the 2001 Stanley Cup Finals, but what can you do? More than anything, I'm just happy to get out to my first hockey game of the year, even if it isn't a new or exciting arena.

Sometimes you go with what you're comfortable with. I'll get to those new buildings eventually.

Now, I know going to this game will cause me to miss the first half of Game One of the ALCS, but I'm prepared to except this eventuality as the cost of seeing one team I care about immeasurably as opposed to two teams I'm highly ambivalent about. Besides, I'll still catch the back end of it, and while I'll be watching both the ALCS and the NLCS, where the Giants will be taking on the Fighting Satans, most of the next 48 hours really just involve counting down the minutes until I get to watch football.

Don't worry, though. When rooting for the San Francisco Gigantes, I will have the best charm anyone could need at my side courtesy of one Stephanie Bowen.

As for football, and those other Giants -- you know, my Giants -- I'm reaching the point where one needs to both be excited and yet temper their expectations. They've looked good the past two weeks and last Sunday's solid whipping of the highly touted Texans has got people talking about that No. 1-ranked defense. I enjoy the good feelings, but maybe they're talking a little too much. Don't get me wrong. I like how Big Blue is playing and a strong defense is the backbone of nearly any championship team, but when even Adam Schefter is talking about the Super Bowl potential of New York's defense, the idea is clearly no longer held to just the minds of irrational and hyper excessive fans.

But I get antsy.

So, in the interests of my own sanity, can we wait until we're past, you know, Week Six of a 17-week season before we start bouncing around all the Super Bowl talk? Pretty please? My anxiety issues depend on us all consuming a dose of reality until at least Thanksgiving. Then maybe we'll chat, but until then, lets keeping assuming the Giants are underdogs.

And speaking of underdogs, let's do some picking.
Last Week: 8-6-0
Season: 36-36-4 (Back to .500!)

NY GIANTS (-10) over Detroit
CHICAGO (-7) over Seattle
GREEN BAY (even) over Miami
San Diego (-9) over ST. LOUIS
Baltimore (+3) over NEW ENGLAND
Atlanta (+3) over PHILADELPHIA
PITTSBURGH (-14) over Cleveland
New Orleans (-5) over TAMPA BAY
HOUSTON (-5) over Kansas City
NY Jets (-3) over DENVER
Oakland (+7) over SAN FRANCISCO
MINNESOTA (-2) over Dallas
Indianapolis (-4) over WASHINGTON
Tennessee (-3) over JACKSONVILLE

Alright, I'm spent, kids. And off to the hockey game. Have a good weekend, everybody.

Lightning Strikes In The Meadowlands

Alright kids, if you can pull yourselves away from that awesome Blackhawks-Predators preview you're reading, I've got two things I'd like to talk to you about. The first one has to deal with that oh so irritating presence of thunder and lightning at the Meadowlands. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but the Jets have been on national TV twice this year and both times they had to put off their start times because of weather.

Now, for a sport that prides itself on playing in the elements this has raised some irritation both over the decision not to build a roof at the New Meadowlands Stadium and the concern over lightning. These complaints are silly. Lets point out a few things.

A) Retractable roofs are nice, but watching football outside is nicer. As someone who has seen football under a retractable roof just one month ago in Indianapolis, I can attest to the fact that the feeling of being connected to the elements simply isn't there even with the roof open. Also, weren't those images of the Vikings and Jets playing through a rainstorm totally awesome to see in HD?

B) You may want to go to bed and the fans may have places to go so they can be at work in the morning hours, but you can't play through lightning. Why? Well, it's pretty damn dangerous. No that's not a joke. An entire soccer team was killed by lightning in a match in the Congo 12 years ago.

I think it's ok to delay the kickoff. You'll all be a little tired in the morning, but that's the price you pay for being a fan sometimes.

Elsewhere some of you might have noticed this baseball game last night. I was always aware of the fact that the Texas Rangers were one of only three teams to have never appeared in the World Series, along with Washington/Montreal and Seattle, but until last night I hadn't realized that Texas was the only franchise to never even win a postseason series.

In a 40-year history that has included Nolan Ryan, Rafael Palmiero, Juan Gonzalez and Alex Rodriguez, you've got to wonder how on Earth that happened. Particularly since the franchise has been run by such able people for large swaths of its history. Apparently all the team really needed was other-worldly ace Cliff Lee and a delightful curly-haired Jewish boy named Ian Kinsler to finally pull off the task against a Rays team that I had winning the World Series until Sports Illustrated got their messy hands involved.

Not that I'm bitter.

It should be interesting to see if Lee can repeat his magic in the next round against his maybe-future teammates in the ALCS, but considering Texas has been to the postseason three times before this year and lost each time -- to the Yankees -- the fates may be against them. The bigger question is just who am I going to be rooting for for the rest of the postseason. And since I've been looking for ways to ignore the Devils' poor start, I've been spending a lot of my free time pondering just that. Though I should note, the Giants and their No. 1-ranked defense have been helping with that.

Well, I will obviously be rooting for the Giants over the Phillies in the NLCS, with little hesitation. As for the AL, I'm pretty ambivalent about this one after discarding my Yankee hatred for a girlfriend five years ago. Let's say I'm rotting for Texas for variety's sake, though I'm sure the Yankees will find some way to win, since they always do. Everyone seems to think we're headed for a Yankees-Phillies World Series again -- and they're probably right, but I'm holding out hope.

Giants-Rangers it is. Oh and hell, let's say the Giants take it in six. At least then I'll have gotten one of my pennant winners right.

Even The Mets Get To Play October Baseball

Ah, October. The leaves are changing color, the temperatures are dropping, college football provides endless entertainment, political races obscure our sense of reality with an endless stream of TV ads and baseball reaches its climax: The postseason.

Now, some of you may be scoffing at my acknowledgment that the Mets are playing baseball in October, because, you know, they aren't playing baseball anymore.

Oh, but God Bless the schedule makers who decided to start baseball season a week late this year. Because of that peculiar delay, the Mets -- and the rest of the Major Leagues -- didn't play their last game until October 3, which, it should be noted, was the 12th anniversary of my Bar Mitzvah, a Bar Mitzvah-versary if you will. And so, because of that scheduling quirk, Omar Minaya and Jerry Manuel will always be able to tell people that they took the Mets into October in their last year with the organization. Then again, considering Minaya's legacy it's probably better to have that as his final act than some other instances. As for Manuel, he's probably going to be remembered best for somehow assuming he wasn't going to get fired because he hadn't been told it yet, even though everyone seemed to know it was coming and Joe Torre had already publicly campaigned for his job. That may not be the wisest decision for Torre of course. He should already know what he'd have coming for him in Queens.

Wait, what's that? You don't care and want to hear about the teams that are actually playing?

Ugh. Fine.

So, if you've been paying close attention, there are actually eight other teams in the Major Leagues that matter. Sort of. And they'll be starting play in MLB's annual postseason playoff tournament Wednesday at 1:37 p.m., when Cliff Lee and David Price take the mound in a humdinger of a series opener between the Rangers and Rays at Tropicana Field. Now, I don't want to alarm all of you, but if the Rays wind up winning the World Series it may be less than legitimate. A woman in Florida appears to have cracked the code and blown the doors open on a vast Zionist conspiracy that is causing the Rays to start James Shields in Game 2 Thursday because he's Jewish. Why would this matter? Well, the team's ownership is Jewish and we bastards band together of course. Just listen to the kindly Floridian who's uncovered the scandal. She sounds very sure of herself.

First CNN and now this.

As a Jewish person, I am going to recuse myself from commenting on the nature of our vast conspiracy to get only Jewish pitchers on the mound, but I do think the radio host makes a valid point in that Gabe Kapler is nowhere to be found in tomorrow's starting lineup. Of course, it should be noted that there is also a question as to whether or not Shields is even Jewish, though he certainly fights like one. If he isn't, clearly we Jews aren't as smart as we think when it comes to these conspiracies. It's kind of like how we still claim Sage Rosenfels even though he's raising his kids to be Christian. Essentially what all of this boils down to is that our presumed Jewish conspiracy has officially supplanted what I thought was the most embarrassing thing I had seen this week.

The only thing more embarrassing that you might see this October? Probably how badly my picks fare over the next four weeks. Nonetheless, here we go. If you're impatient, I say Tampa Bay finally wipes the stink of Jose Canseco from its franchise highlights.

ALDS
(1) Tampa Bay over (3) Texas in four games
(2) Minnesota over (4) NY Yankees in five games

NLDS
(1) Philadelphia over (3) Cincinnati in three games
(2) San Francisco over (4) Atlanta in four games

ALCS
(1) Tampa Bay over (2) Minnesota in six games

NLCS
(2) San Francisco over (1) Philadelphia in seven games

2010 World Series
(1) Tampa Bay over (2) San Francisco in six games

I know, it seems peculiar, but for some reason I've got a hunch the Giants could pull off the upset as the only team in the NL with pitching that comes close to matching Philadelphia's. It may just be wishful thinking on my part, but if there's any chance for someone to stop the Phillies from taking a third straight National league Pennant, this would be it. As for the American League, Minnesota has been on fire for the second half despite not having Justin Morneau around. Morneau is out for the postseason, and the Twins have slowed down in the last two weeks, but so have the Yankees, whose pitching seems to be discombobulated. Not that it'll matter, because for the Rays, this is their time. They are talented offensively and in the rotation, have a sharp manager in Joe Maddon and have one last shot to go for it all with Carl Crawford in tow, which means, to me, that all signs point to the Rays winning their first-ever World Championship in front of all 38 of their fans.

It's probably a Jewish conspiracy. We won't know for sure until the franchise moves to Tel Aviv.

The Triumphant Return From the West

If any of you spoke to me in my zombie ramblings yesterday and thought I seemed a bit out of it, that probably has something to do with me having gotten very few hours of sleep thanks to two insufferable crying children on my redeye back from Los Angeles Wednesday night. The true shame of this comes from Virgin America's low mood music and deep, soft purple lighting, which should knock anyone on the plane out in fairly short order. But they simply didn't account for parents who are disinterested in calming down their children now did they?

Of course not.

Well, it's a day later, I'm refreshed, and there's much to discuss over here in Kalanville. Perhaps it would seem prescient to start with the obvious, which is that the1920s gold prospector from Chicago you see in the top right corner smoking a cigar with me got married this past weekend.

It really just looks like a standard tuxedo until you include the pocket watches. They take them to a whole new level.

So, I suppose my brother's wedding was probably the most important thing I did in my third trip to the west coast in the past five weeks, but don't worry, there's actually plenty that was relevant to this blog that happened, too. My sister and I decided that following this wedding would be a perfect time to make a drive down the coast from San Francisco to Los Angeles, which for her purposes meant beautiful scenery and the chance to see her friend Lily. For mine it meant the chance to visit one of my favorite Stadiums -- AT&T Park -- and the chance to see a new one -- Dodger Stadium.

Some of you may recall my brutal near-miss in my attempt to see Dodger Stadium in July following my weekend trip to the San Diego Comic-Con. This time no force on heaven or Earth was going to stop me, which I'm sure caused my sister more than a little anxiety as I sped wrecklessly on I-10 East in Los Angeles.

I would have been on time for the game, too, were it not for the obnoxiously long line to pay for parking.

No matter. We got the game in and despite the lack of excitement from the action on the field Wednesday as the Phillies knocked off the Dodgers, it was still a lot of fun to see a new building, which, while not my favorite, has a lot to like about it nonetheless, namely it's color scheme which looks just how you'd expect a building from 1962 to look, and the beautiful view in the outfield. When I give this jaunt the full written rundown I'll give much more insight into its delightful antiquated charm, and moreover, despite the claims of one Evan Hung, the Dodger dogs are actually pretty decent.

Don't worry, Evan. San Francisco still has its superior garlic fries.

In fact, the garlic fries are extremely necessary since San Francisco, for some reason I can't possibly explain, irrationally relishes the fact that it is always mid-fall and chilly in that city. Aside from being a kind of bizarre place, I'd actually rather like the City by the Bay were it not for every day feeling like October 24th there. Monday night when we attended a Giants-Rockies game that had me frustrated for not starting Jonathan Sanchez on my fantasy team the same night I saw him throw eight-plus shutout innings in person until the Giants lost in spectacular fashion in the ninth inning, it was somewhere between cool and freezing. My sister was prepared with a scarf and later bought a knit hat for the occasion, I came with a long-sleeved shirt and jacket, and all of my Bay Area cohorts came layered, including Stacy who had gloves with her just in case it was particularly nippy.

It was August. Late August is still August.

In any event, the trip was a good one had by all, and I now get to enjoy a whole 12 days in New York before I head to Boston on Sept. 14 and then go to my next new sporting venue, Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, for the Manning Bowl on Sept. 19.

Wahoo.

Speaking of the Giants, with the season getting underway for Big Blue on Sept. 12, I made sure to have my tickets earlier today for the first regular season game ever held at the Giants and Jets brand-spankin'-new and totally necessary Meadowlands Stadium. I won't know for sure until they arrive, but I'm hopeful the tickets will be the fancy shmancy laminated commemorative ones that most season ticket holders are getting.

Getting those tickets was a nice uplift after seeing (Warning: Dave is about to talk Aussie Rules Football) Geelong play well beneath its abilities for most of Friday's Qualifying Final with last year's Grand Final opponent St. Kilda. The loss was a particularly brutal one as a questionable foul with 61 seconds left nullified what would have been a game-winning goal by captain Cameron Ling, the huffing-puffing fire-headed chap you see to the left.

This doesn't end the Cats' hunt for a fourth Grand Final trip in as many seasons and a third premiership in that span, but it doesn't make it easier. With a win Geelong would have gotten two weeks off until a win-or-go home Preliminary Final with a berth in the big game at the end on the line. Instead the Cats will have to win a match this weekend against either Fremantle or Hawthorn (which famously upset Geelong in the 2008 Grand Final) to reach the semis.

Then again, as a fan of the Mets (who have to deal with being attached to Snooki), the Giants (who never make it easy), the Devils (who apparently need six weeks to sign a free agent), Northwestern (which wears purple), Southampton FC (relegated twice this decade) and the Knicks (Do I need to explain this one?), I'm used to taking the long road to victory. And with Northwestern opening its season tomorrow night against Vanderbilt, I'll get a quick reminder on how long a season can be if the Wildcats get upset by the 'Dores.

But since I don't cross the Mississippi again for two and a half months, at least I won't have to deal with jetlag by the time I experience that collapse.

Right?

Go West, Young Man. Again.

Some of you might have noticed that my updates have been somewhat sparse lately, and I will plead your forgiveness by offering a few reasons why. You see, the month of August 2010 has been particularly busy for me, with work, weddings and travel galore. Also, the downtrodden Mets have left me with little to be excited about in sports beyond the start of Southampton's League One season and the run up to the Aussie Rules Football Finals, which Geelong should figure to impact rather heavily.

But y'all cats aren't necessarily interested in all that, though perhaps the coming start of Northwestern's college football season might excite you. Or maybe not. I'm sure my four readers would feign interest while I rambled about the Cats' prospects at a surprise Big Ten title or my Geelong Cats' prospects of a third premiership in four years, but I wouldn't want to make hypocrites out of all of you.

In any event, I will come clean and tell you all why this month has been so busy, and essentially, I will revolve it around my zany trip to San Diego to see the annual Comic-Con, and a trip I made two weeks ago to see my friends Dave and Caitlin tie the knot in Portland, Oregon. This would be the same Dave with whom I saw that magic moment for Ken Griffey Jr. last June. In between all of those events I've been juggling a typical work schedule, the precipitous downfall of my Mets, the impending start of the season for my Giants, the fact that Ilya Kovalchuk somehow still isn't under a contract that passes muster and my brother's impending nuptials this Sunday.

See how I slipped that in there? Eh? Eh?

That, my friends, is what we call burying the lead. Burying it after the jump is equally as bad, but you've got to entice the reader to keep on reading no?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Elliott, Emmy-winning comedy writer, terrible movie enthusiast and newly minted comic book author, is getting hitched to his fiancee Danielle this Sunday in Sonoma, California, which means, I have to book it to the airport tomorrow morning for a flight to San Francisco that will mark my third trip across the country in five weeks.

Yep. That's right. The third time in five weeks.

Fortunately, this is no longer the era of covered wagons like you see to the left here, so my accommodations -- the newfangled "airplane" -- will get me to San Francisco in at least half the time.

Now, surely none of you really care all that much about my travel plans to my brother's wedding, beyond offerings of congratulations and curiosity over just how big a disaster my best man speech is going to be, but here's why it matters for this space. There will be baseball. West Coast Baseball. The Mets would not exist were it not for the California-bound relocation of the New York Giants and Brooklyn Dodgers half a century ago, and because the actual Mets are, well, terrible right now, I will instead scope out the forbears of my favorite team who are much better than terrible and actually even in contention for what they call "a playoff berth".

We Mets fans may be unfamiliar with that concept these days, but I assure all of you, it actually exists.

And so, because I will be on the left coast, my sister, I, and a few assorted others will be attending this Monday's Giants-Rockies game at AT&T Park, and while this will not be a new experience for me -- I've been there twice -- it just may be my favorite. Two days later, if we can wake ourselves early enough to make the drive from San Luis Obispo, we will be in Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles to, at long last, knock the second oldest park in the National League off of my list. I'm awfully excited about the prospect.

Oh yeah. And my brother's getting married. That's pretty exciting, too. One of my best friends in college, Luisa Badaracco of my venture to Fenway and TD Garden fame, was at her sister's wedding three years ago when Clay Buchholz threw a no-hitter in his second career start for her Boston Red Sox. Will history repeat itself for my brother Sunday as the historically pitching-rich Mets finally get their first no-no? Well, the odds are a little slim, though this isn't the most unlikely thing I've banked on -- in High School I once told a teacher I'd have to miss a club meeting because I had Mets tickets and I liked their chances for a Perfect Game against the hapless Orioles. The Mets probable starter is R.A. Dickey, who already has a one-hitter under his belt in a surprising knuckleballing season that has him stunningly in the top ten of the NL's ERA chase. His foe -- the equally as hapless Houston Astros in the pitcher's haven of Citi Field.

The stars are aligned. You can pretty much take it to the bank.

On one last note, it was revealed this week whom the Mets will be visiting in 2011 for interleague play, which is always of great interest to me as I look to strike down stadiums on my quest. Despite much hub-bub that the Amazins would be visiting Minnesota's new Target Field, they will in fact be visiting Rangers Ballpark at Arlington and Comerica Park in Detroit. While I have already been to Comerica Park, the Texas Rangers are new on the list. Who's up for a road trip?

And that's all the news that's fit to print and a whole lot more that isn't in these parts. California beckons tomorrow, again, and the Kalan family will be changed forever. If I can keep my eyes open after crisscrossing the U.S. one last time this month, I'll be sure to tell you all about it next week.

Oh The Fates, Ye Be Cruel

Ok, let's be honest here. No one actually wants a championship ring so they can wear it. They're gaudy, heavy clunky things that attract way more attention than most people are comfortable with in their private lives and not always the good kind.

But they're also really, really cool to look at. Duh.

Who wouldn't want a championship ring of some sort, really? They're fun to show off and a sense of great pride if acquired through an actual accomplishment even if it spends all of its time in your safety deposit box. Of course some people just want them because of their value and will acquire them through whatever means they wish, which is surprisingly easy if you've got a big bank account.

Finding rings in eBay auctions (some more bizarre than others) isn't all that unusual, and seeing them randomly wind up in pawn shops isn't so rare either. Of course, sometimes the means aren't all that legitimate.

So I hear the questions. "Dave, why are you talking about this? You're never going to get a championship ring for yourself. You're just a wee wannabe sportswriter." True, this statement may be, but working for a team professionally has been a thought in the back of my mind from time to time, and regardless, having a championship ring of any sort would be pretty sweet, even if I had to keep it locked up at all times. A burden, sure, but one I'd love to have even if it were just for bragging rights, but either way, it's never been a prospect I've thought I'd have a real shot at or seriously entertained.

And then I came across this story.

Those Chicago Blackhawks were quite a fun team to watch this year, but as I've pointed out on more than one occasion, I was rather excited to see them win the whole shabang even if they weren't the New Jersey Devils. Ever since I worked as an intern for the Blackhawks during my senior year of college four years ago, I have had a soft spot in my heart for the Hawks, both as someone who has seen the inner workings of a professional sports franchise and as someone who still has friends in the organization. It is disconcerting to see that they still lost money this season despite partying with Stanley, but that is likely a remnant of the antiquated business practices of former owner Bill Wirtz, who famously refused to broadcast home games on TV. The team should turn a profit this coming season and be well on its way.

I was more struck by this part of the article, however:


"There's definitely no penny-pinching going on. Among those set to receive Stanley Cup rings next season include the team's interns."

They're giving rings to everyone. They're giving rings to interns. It's hard to play the what-if game here, but I think you all can see what I'm getting at here, which, essentially, is that, if I were four years younger, I would be getting some new hardware this summer.

I would have a Stanley Cup championship ring.

This is, of course, a very silly and abstract argument to make since being four years younger likely would have led me on an entirely different path through my life. That is probably pretty clear. Moreover, considering that Chicago finished last in its division the year I worked there, a title was hardly a plausible idea at the time. But it's still fun to dream and in my mind, I apparently came oh so close to bragging to all of my friends over a dramatically undeserved piece of jewelry.

So close, and yet so far away.

There is some better news however, which is that the tickets to my next planned venture have arrived. Now, it won't be the next unusual stadium I make my way to. My sister and I will likely be at the Giants-Rockies game in San Francisco on August 30th and there is a very slim chance that I might get to knock Dodger Stadium off the list on September 1st to make up for last week's near miss after my sister and I drive down the California coast.

But barring that, my next big trip will be to Indianapolis to see the quadrennial Manning Bowl with Dov Turner. The Giants visit the Colts once every eight years and with the next time coming on September 19, I will be there in the very last row of Lucas Oil Stadium to watch Big Blue spoil the AFC Champions' home opener after some banner raising fanfare.

Excited? You bet. I'll be sure to post a story once the trip is complete and with the Mets being a completely unmitigated disaster these days, I was happy to receive something to take my mind off the pain.

It may not be a Stanley Cup Championship ring, but today it will have to do.

Welcome to Round 2

Yes, I know many of you would probably expect me to continue talking about the Mets, who, amazingly won their seventh in a row yesterday to stay atop the NL East by completing their first sweep of the Dodgers in 15 years. Exciting time are afoot in Queens, as New York takes its 1/2-game lead into Philadelphia this weekend for the first major challenge of the season. Of course, it would have been 1 1/2 games were it not for a late rally by the Phils in San Francisco yesterday, but I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

First place is first place, even if April is still April.

But the more pressing an exciting news comes in the way of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, which, after a wild Game 7 that saw the No. 1 team in the League blow a 3-1 series lead in the opening round, hits Round 2 tonight with no break whatsoever -- a rarity for the NHL. Instead Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus gets underway in San Jose tonight, with the rest of the second round following suit tomorrow and Saturday. These aren't exactly the matchups I was expecting, peculiarly the 4, 6, 7 and 8 seeds were the ones to advance in the Eastern Conference, and with no Devils and no Capitals getting in the way I can't possibly imagine a scenario in which Sidney Crosby and the Penguins don't get to the Stanley Cup Finals.

And a rematch with the Wings for the third straight year doesn't seem all that crazy either. But of course, that's why they play the games.

And to that end, here are my certain to be just as wrong as they were in the first round predictions for the second round of your Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Eastern Conference
(4) Pittsburgh over (8) Montreal in five games
(6) Boston over (7) Philadelphia in six games

Western Conference
(1) San Jose over (5) Detroit in seven games
(2) Chicago over (3) Vancouver in six games

Yeah, I'm willing to bet at least on of those doesn't turn out right, probably Boston and Philadelphia, which some of you may recall is a rematch of this year's Winter Classic, and while I make no secret of disdaining Philadelphia, my only real hope for the rest of the playoffs is that the Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup.

Of course, knowing my luck in the playoffs so far, they'll probably get swept.

Lastly, I came across this news item on ESPN.com today stating that, according to a report by the Nielsen Company, the most hated team in Major League Baseball is... wait for it .... yep, just who you thought it'd be.

The Cleveland Indians.

Wait, what? A team that continually has its heart broken and hasn't won a World Series in 62 years is the most hated franchise in the sport? I see no way that this is feasibly possible. For one thing, I've had nothing but pleasant experiences seeing the Indians in person. For another, Cleveland isn't exactly a city that overwhelms you with its power and arrogance.

It's Cleveland, for heaven's sake.

And lastly, their mascot, Slider, is adorable. I mean look at him. As I told a friend earlier today, the only thought in my mind when I see him is to pinch his cheek and call him "Shookums".

Even that Roger Dorn, is kind of fun in his own assholish way. Now, I know the Indians lose some cache now that Pedro Cerrano has called it quits, but seriously, someone please explain to me what is eminently hateable about this team in anyway.

I'll buy you a cookie if you can convince me. Let the contest begin.

That's all for today. Enjoy the hockey.